I probably should have mentioned it before now, but the Humor-Blogs.com inspectors are almost upon us.
That’s right, the heat is on the way. Soon U.N. sanctioned, Guantanamo trained humor technicians will be pouring over this site, ensuring that every last joke and inference passes the most stringent government standards of legibility and humorosity.
In fact, they may already be among us at this very moment, marking and measuring and scribbling furiously on the their Humor-Blogs.com issued Hello Kitty™ notepads.1
In the face of this grave inspecting threat, we must pull together. What I need most from readers of this site is to just act normal. Normal of course, will be a new concept for some of you, but I am sure you can fake it for a few days, until the review squad collects their findings, and then we can all laugh about it together once they’re gone. In fact I’m laughing right now, although I’m not sure that nervous hysteria really counts for much in a situation like this.
Let me also say that I simply will not tolerate any dramatic, and conveniently timed declarations of love for this site. In no case do I want to read about how the sheer weight and depth of humor found at the Comma cured your acne, balanced your tires, or pulled you from the flaming wreckage of a saltwater aquarium crash.
These are serious people and we must respect their time and their intelligence. They won’t be fooled by insincere gestures or hollow praise.
Cue the deer.2
Normal of course, will be a new concept for some of you…
While you are here, please take a moment to look around and giggle excitedly about the recent changes and upgrades I have made to the structure of this site. I know that some people would say these refinements are all just a shallow attempt to impress the Humor-Blogs.com reviewers, but in fact they are a part of my long standing commitment to throwing random stuff together and milking it for all that it is worth.
As for those bitter people who impugn my motives, let me say that cynicism like that is exactly what’s wrong with the world today3 and if I receive a high review score from Humor-Blogs.com, I will use my enhanced powers and influence to gently guide and correct cynical individuals with the blunt instruments of unflinching irony and devastating humor until they repent of their evil and join all the shiny happy people, preferably here at the Ominous Comma.
Furthermore, if I am elected, I commit to freeing this country from the Jell-o dependence that has so long crippled our– Wait, wrong speech.
So even in the face of fearsome Humor-Blogs.com inspectors, we have nothing to fear except the irrational phobias instilled in us by our parents and the psychosis-enhancing efforts of our own Dr. Harold Toboggans to cure them.
Remember, only together can we surmount the challenges of life and emerge victorious with peace, integrity and really good reviews for the Ominous Comma. And when it comes down to it, what more could you ask for?
Thank you and good night.
—–
The Ominous Comma is a nutritious part of a balanced blogroll.
Add it today.
- They are of course, scribbling their lunch orders. These people didn’t get to where they are now by taking notes. «
- If you don’t recognize this reference, then you don’t know Funny Farm and quite possibly you have lived your life in vain. «
- Just after hunger, war, and a rising temperature. «
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Not even for ice cream rjlight?
rj,
It was comment 150! not 50! YEAH, we made it. Brent will get another prize. Great job Brent!!! You are the man! I hope it’s a good one! Way to go.
Debbie,
We did it, we did it!
Chris,
Did you see that. Boris could not stand up to the full power of the armored tea cup moose and the squirrel in unity! Moose and squirrel are an entire army unto themselves! Way to go!
Thanks Brent, but the ninja can rest easy tonight.
WOW.
I completely forgot about this post. These comments truly are dizzying.
Perhaps the next prize Camille awards to Brent will be for something like no comments. My head hurts just thinking about what it would take to get to 200 if she ups the ante again.
Squirrels throwing up, Japanese, Moose and squirrel vs. Boris and Aleksandra…
Whichever anonymous (I believe there are more than one among us) gave me the compliment, thank you.
Whoever has the peanut butter M&Ms, please pass them this way.
My tea cup moose and myself should very much like to dine. Hey, what prize does Brent get this time, by the way?
A gift card to the dollar store?
“Moose and Squirrel have escaped, but we will get them next time”
I really like people who use the word ‘furthermore.’
Thank you Polliwog, we aim to please.
We miss a lot, but every once in a while we hit the target.
Oh it was Boris from Rocky and Bullwinkle…Oops!
It’s ok Debbie,
I did not get that one right away either. Squirrel pointed it out.
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