My last post was surprisingly popular, inspiring hordes of pirate commentors to seize control of the Comma’s critical comment area and furiously remark about anything not moving fast enough to evade them.
They commented all day.
They commented all night.
They commented all the next day.
And they commented well into the next night.
I don’t know how they stayed up so long.
Perhaps sleep deprivation could account for my popularity.
A new Ominous Comma comment record was set. And broken. And set again.
Some people would say that it is because of sheer laziness that I only post three times a week, but in fact I have planned for this day from the beginning, anticipating the time when the readers of this blog would have so much to say, and express, and randomly associate, that it takes a full 24 hours just to get it all out.
So if you have been lurking in one of the many dusty corners of the site that have sprung up since Dr. Toboggans ran the maid off, then you simply must read the comments on this blog, as it attracts the widest assortment of insanely loyal, yet pleasantly unbalanced commentators of any blog anywhere.1
In fact, you can even subscribe to the comments and have them delivered to your desktop with the regularity and precision of a Bavarian toilet engineer
In fact, you can even subscribe to the comments here and have them delivered to your desktop with the regularity and precision of a Bavarian toilet engineer. You can also subscribe to the Comma itself, but of course that is strictly optional. The mildly psychotic comment posse and myself will not laugh at you, nor will we follow you home to see where you live if you should choose not to subscribe.2
So just when the raging wildfire of comments had nearly burned itself out, my wife’s impulsive offer to present me with an unnamed reward once the comment count exceeded one-hundred, triggered a fresh cataclysm of commenting fury that lasted for hours.
This morning, at last count, we have 103 comments.3
In honor of this heroic achievement I am renaming the comments themselves. From now on they will read “little commas” as a lasting tribute to each and every one of you and your roles as co-collaborators and fellow-adventurers in this uncharted journey of blogsporation.
Revel in your new status as mini-punctuation. Delight and rejoice in your mighty commenting prowess. You deserve it.
Have a great weekend.
Are you broke? Hungry? A homicidal spelunking instructor? Take your mind off your problems, subscribe to the Comma today.
- A bold, yet random statement that my require some verification. If you are expecting me to look it up, you are clearly new here. ↩
- We leave that up to the Ominous Commandeers, a loyal band of violent former I.R.S. agents who are much better trained and suited for that sort of thing. Their greatest joy in life is assisting wayward readers in “seeing the light” and “getting with the program” of lifelong Comma commitment. I have never asked them to do this, but neither do I think it wise to try to stop them. ↩
- Although I don’t know what my reward shall be, I am hiding all the cutlery and upgrading my life insurance just to be safe. ↩