I am always amused when large, consumer-dependent companies tell me to leave behind the herd mentality that keeps them in business:
Statements like this one help me to keep my irony processing system fit and free from obstruction.
I can almost hear the marketing executives chuckle as they escort their fleet of cash-ladden dump trucks to the bank:
“Don’t smoke the same toxic, lung-plugging crap as all your other nicotine friends. Be original – buy the ones with our brand stamped on them.”
Some dedicated research team needs to conduct a study upon the infinite gullibly of consumers, I really think it has potential as alternative energy source.
While they’re at it, they should investigate why this particular brand of cigarette seems to cause a painful-looking swelling of the hair.
Perhaps this specific blend of tobacco activates an “originality” gene in the smoker’s DNA. One that causes the follicles to grow markedly more expressive and uniquely individual.
Just like Bob Dylan:
and Prince:
and like Cream:
and the Romantics:
Not to mention the drummer from Danger Couch:
The moral of the story, is of course, that nothing makes you more completely and uniquely yourself then doing exactly what millions of other people are doing. And if you can support a poor, overworked multi-billion dollar corporation while you’re at it, so much the better.
Be original, be very original.
——-
SURGEON GENERALS WARNING: Smoking this or any brand of tobacco does not increase musical ability, creativity, or life span. Never apply hair styling products while smoking unless you desire your hair to go up in a ball of flames. On the other hand the Hindenburg look works well for some people.
STYLIST GENERAL’S WARNING: Bad hair does not produce talent, genius, or artistic creditability. It may, however, cause traffic accidents and possibly contribute to global warming.
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Notice the half-smoked cigarette underneath the photo? Sharing the same sentiment as your post, this individual probably became disgusted at the add (and his or her addiction) OR he/she is off to buy some Kools!
Debbie,
A person of your superior genius should not stoop to pointless addictions to spawn creativity. Your natural talent is all the world really needs.
My hairdresser in Spain used to do my hair with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. I got to go home with that fresh clean scent!
swelling of the hair lol
So, aside from smoking their brand of cigarettes, the deliberate misspelling of words also makes one “original”…oh, the money I’ve wasted on dictionaries!
Actually, the cool new spelling is “orijanal.”
RJ,
That’s why people go to Europe, to get a whiff of culture.
And of all things “Kool” the brand that is always generalizing youth and targeting them. Interesting what they’re trying to do. Young people are that stupid? Is that a new corporate mentality? Where did they grow up I wonder…
lol. I enjoyed reading this one. is there really any originality left in the world? seems like it’s all been used up. nice blog btw.
Thank you Kelli, the original idea for this blog was taken from….oh yeah, from my subconscious. It looks better here though, in color and everything.
There are also fewer flatulating dolphins here as well.
I recently saw a commercial for Time Warner’s cable/internet/phone service that said you should join up to “share your originality with people just like you.” Yikes.
Kinda scary.
I shared my originality with Will Ferrell one time and he used it to become a superstar.
I keep waiting for him to give it back.