Black Friday Injury Avoidance

by Brent on November 23, 2007

in Fiction

I just got off the phone with the Surgeon General, calling to remind me yet again about the hazards of mixing triptaphen and rapid humoron influx.

He actually called for Doctor Toboggans, who is presently in Istanbul, visiting the Istan Mystics, the only people equipped to handle the doctor’s extended presence due to their highly developed spiritual disciplines, which include a strict diet of acetylene roasted chitlins and sleeping on a bed of nail-polish chips.

But he settled for me, as many do, and as a responsible content-producer I simply cannot bring myself to endanger the public with a potentially explosive interaction of turkey and humor.

So for the safety of all involved, let’s just sleep it off.

After all, I’d hate for something like this to happen.

YouTube Preview Image

Happy Thanksgiving all.

—-

If you simply cannot live without some weekend humor and are willing to risk spontaneous combustion, head over to humor-blogs.com where there is always a little something in the oven.

{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Lord Likely November 23, 2007 at 7:55 am

Thank you for the warning, sir.

I almost lost a leg in such an incident. It does not pay to fool with Mother Nature. And fondling her is right out of the question.

A Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, Mr. Brent!

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Debbie November 23, 2007 at 12:18 pm

Happy Thanksgiving to you Brent and all the brilliant OC readers(fans & patients)!

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Youthful One November 23, 2007 at 3:59 pm

“…head over to humor-blogs.com where there is always a little something in the oven.”

Is this to say they are perpetually pregnant?

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Chris non-C November 23, 2007 at 11:30 pm

I expected better marksmanship from you Marine.

YO
perpetually pregnant?

If they are then they have something in common with mt sister…… Her football team in almost complete.

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Lynn November 24, 2007 at 12:25 am

Only 13 days until Danger Couch concert!

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Pope Terry November 24, 2007 at 1:37 am

Thanks giving and explosives… its like jesus himself had planned the holiday… jesus loved fire crackers, read the bible its in there, near the back.

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*stairmaster27* November 25, 2007 at 1:55 pm

Wow! you’re blogs are so flippin’ funny! I mean your intellectual intelligence amazed me! I mean, the sheer cardinal endowment is astounding! You don’t deserve to be mortal.

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monkeyman is on fire11 November 25, 2007 at 8:53 pm

Thanks for the warning but I believe black Friday to be a fun and exciting day if your definition of fun and exciting is getting your hair pulled out, your feet getting stepped on, and all together toughening up then people would have fun but for some this impossible but there are still some people out there that strive for this one day to get there Christmas shopping done but thats not the only reason people go shopping on black Friday there are some who do it because to become sane you must be insane and there are others who do it for the pure joy of shopping.

-monkeyman is on fire11

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Brent November 24, 2007 at 2:11 am

Even winking at her put you at risk. That’s why I’m staying indoors.

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Brent November 24, 2007 at 2:12 am

Thank you Debbie,
Happy day-after holiday sales blitz to you too.

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Brent November 24, 2007 at 2:13 am

Yes, they always seem to have a litter ready to bring forth.

Maybe someday they’ll deliver.

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Brent November 24, 2007 at 2:16 am

Your mathematical prowess is breathtaking. It’s definitely got me hyperventilating.

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Brent November 24, 2007 at 2:18 am

Sorry about the shooting, I kept dozing off.

At 300 members, humor-blogs seems to be aiming more for it’s own stadium.

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Brent November 24, 2007 at 2:25 am

Looks like you’re right. It’s all there in Revelation 6:13+14. (It’s on page 2049)

We’ll really have to outdo ourselves next year. I’m thinking 2 turkeys, 5 quail, and a duck.

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Brent November 25, 2007 at 6:47 pm

Thank you Stairmaster,

I am almost as funny as my son. He’s a real riot.

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Brent November 25, 2007 at 10:45 pm

You also seem familiar to me, monkeyman. Or should I say monkeygirl?

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