For those of you who may be mercifully ignorant of what passes for content on this site, my usual response to memes is similar to my response to venomous insects occasionally found crawling across my floor: bludgeon them with whatever is handy, wipe up the residue with the closest paper product and burn the whole mess as a lesson to any others who may be planning a similar attack.
However in the newfound liberation of Blogging Week, I am gleefully cultivating some truly wretched memes of my own.
For example, today is Marauding Monday.
In a time-honored tradition dating back to the early hours of this morning, Marauding Monday is characterized by a joyfully vindictiveness in which a bold blogger, not unlike myself, is encouraged to stalk and prey upon a completely unprepared bystander in the name of community entertainment.
Today’s victim is none other than Wanton Government Regulation.
It is no secret that governing bodies are like black holes, which if left to their own devices will suck all untended powers into themselves, forming a tightly bundled mass of irresistible authority.
What is less well known, is that this is precisely what is happening in Nepal.
In a fit of blatant persecution, the Nepalese government* has announced that it is actively attempting to curtail the inalienable climbing rights of the Unclothed Everest Ascenders Community.
It seems that certain narrow-mined Nepalese officials take a dim view of naked climbers.**
Personally, I am shocked and appalled at this remorseless abuse of governmental power. This is exactly the kind of oppressive interference that keeps Nepal in 83rd place as a world economy.
It is every climbers God-given right*** to summit the mountain in the same state he or she entered the world: butt naked, quivering, and out of breath.
No government for the people, by the people, or even somewhere around the people has the authority to deprive these poor hikers of their right to free epidermal expression.
Besides, the Nepalese government should realize that this is a self-correcting problem. As the offending parties proceed to frostbite themselves out of the gene pool, the entire human population will grow statistically smarter as a result of their actions.
And remember this, if you set a dress code for Everest, then it’s only a matter of time until you’re fitting a splash guard on Niagara Falls or installing handrails on the Marianas Trench.
Regulation escalation is an ugly, ugly thing.
There you have it, the first ever Marauding Monday
Now, to properly propagate this drain on the collective internet IQ, I am tagging:
The official Sledge Hammer MySpace site because that show:
- Freaking rocks
- Inspires me to maraud.
Dave Barry who deserves precisely this sort of spam.
And Grundir the Implacable who secretly longs for some juicy new memes.
Come back tomorrow for the next installment of Blogging Week: Tactless Tuesday
*If you can say “Nepalese” eight times in rapid succession, then you can do a fairly convincing rendition of Heart’s classic rock hit Barracuda.
**Between the blizzards, long nights, and oxygen deprivation, a dim view is about all you get of anyone on the mountain.****
***Atheist climber of course have a slowly evolving right, that may be ready for use in a few million years.
****No, I’ve never been to Mt Everest, but there was a very educational IMAX film on the subject not long ago.*****
*****No, I didn’t actually see the movie either, but there were some lovely commercials about it.******
******Just forget about it. I’m sorry I even brought it up.
This post can be found nakedly scaling the heights at humor-blog.com