On this most glorious of days, I dispense with the small portion of charm and grace that usually infuses my writing, and strike the nail squarely on the non-pointy side of unsuspecting topics, caught by surprise at being so directly addressed.
And the topic are:
SUVs as status symbols. Unless you have a business or a family of mormon proportions, you probably don’t require four tons of automobile to get your groceries home from the store. Safety? Unless the manufacturer equipped airbags can actually float the vehicle across rivers of formerly solid arctic real estate, I don’t think you’re doing anyone any favors here.
Chrome badges declaring the size of your wheel rims posted on the sides of your vehicle. You are really not going to score any points with this little reminder of how you spent more money on your wheels than on your education. Life is depressing enough already.
Okay, status symbols altogether. If you really need to buy something to define who you are, then stuff is not your problem.
Mini Storage. If you have so much unused crap that it need its own house, then perhaps you have attachment issues. Do yourself a favor: drag your stuff to Goodwill and let it be redistributed to others people’s houses in the great currents of crap circulation. If you really miss it you can buy it again.
Plus a seasonal bonus:
The Constant-Inflation Halloween Yard Thingy. Anything this tacky should not require a constant supply of electricity. In an era of wireless networks and genetic engineering, a visual assault of this nature should be able to power the entire neighborhood under its own hideousness.
Okay, it’s not that hideous, it’s actually kind of cool. But it still offends me on general principle.
To further spread the infection, I am tagging:
Steve Pavlina to see if he can devise a Law of Non-Attraction to deflect this mighty meme.
Henry M. Paulson at the Department of the Treasury just because I want to make sure he doesn’t get lonely over there with all my money.
And Mattress Police because Diesel really gets a kick out of these things.
Be sure to come back tomorrow for What’s Up With Me Wednesday.
Thank you for flying Ominous Comma. Have a nice day.
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