Welcome back to the unending torment that is Blogging Week. Today’s meme is a barrage of banality I like to call Thursday Thirty-Seven, which weighs in with nearly three times the tedious trivia of its mundane cousin, Thursday Thirteen.
For those seeking to replicate this decent into the cheesy depths of meme-hood, the thing to keep in mind about a good Thursday Thirty-Seven is that it is not bound by the constraints of accuracy and accountability that limit lesser lists. In fact, entertainment value rates far higher than literal truth. So if you have stockpiled a sufficient supply of caffeine and are properly belted in, let’s get started:
- I have brought forth three offspring upon the earth. (The Hot Comma Momma did most of the work, but until she gets her own list or they do something really bad, I’m taking credit.)
- I am proud to say that I still have possession of my appendix.
- I once jumped off a pier into the Pacific ocean to impress a girl.
- I myself was quite unimpressed to discover the water was only four feet deep at the time.
- I have relaxed on the white sands beaches of Aruba.
- I have discovered that the other 99% of that happy island is comprised of jagged rocks, cacti, and sweat.
- I once jumped out of a helicopter into Lake Tahoe
- Soon after, I received the mother of all brain-freezes from the year-round arctic water temperatures.
- I am frequently recognized for my mugging preparedness.
- I was once a foster parent.
- I was once a child.
- I was once above these kinds of lists.
- I once received a medal from the government of Kuwait as their way of saying, “Goodbye and thanks for all the oil.”
- I am pro-Nebraska
- I once found it necessary to use a four-seat outhouse. It was already at ¾ occupancy at the time.
- I have crossed glaciers on Mt. Hood
- I’m in a band.
- My wife is my groupie.
- I’ve never been to Boston in the fall.
- I am allergic to cats and consider them all to be lazy wastes of carbon.
- Although I don’t usually mention it, my kids often crack me up.
- I met my wife, the Hot Comma Momma, in high school.
- It took her quite a while to be smitten by my charms.
- Actually, she hated me.
- But I won in the end, which has been the ongoing theme of our relationship.
- By certain, quite low standards, I am a professional actor and voice actor (Shameless plug warning.)
- I once received the following statement in a performance review: “Brent is a good marine, but he thinks too much.”
- I once turned down a promotion because I didn’t want to cut my hair.
- I was born at a young age.
- I often laugh at my own jokes.
- This trait frequently disturbs my children.
- Although a lot of people talk to themselves from time to time, I am the only one I know to get written correspondence from myself.
- I once moved completely across the country to attend music school.
- Once there, I discovered I was a painfully average musician.
- I also found out I was a fairly decent writer.
- I have a history test tonight.
- I really need to study.
So there you have it, Thursday Thirty-Seven. Can you guess which ones are true? Comment boxes are standing by.
In the meantime hurry back tomorrow for the last installment of blogging week, Frumpy Friday.
And to generally annoy all those involved, let me tag the following entities with this overflowing meme:
- Count von Count of Sesame Street fame for teaching me how to count this high.
- Arubagirl for this gruesome picture of fiendish flora.
This post is ensuring my own personal walk of shame over at humor-blogs.com
#29 is obviously a complete fabrication. Come on – you can’t do better than that? And #12 seems a bit iffy, too.
I once experienced #27 myself, but appended to mine, was the follow-on statement….”often resulting in the destruction of government property”.
I can also claim 7,8,16 and 30. But not, 11 or 29.
And my kids are way funnier than I am. That’s why I can’t claim #2.
Were you in a Radio Battalion in the Marines?
What a peachy keen stroll down memory lane.
There is one glaring ERROR in the list: number thirty four.
I challenge everyone to check out number twenty six and prove number thirty four wrong…ya follow me?
I don’t even know if anything can be said in regards to number 28.
You know, I was getting into these! I was almost wishing for the Thursday 300!
note: please note: i am kidding
I just don’t know what to believe!
Is it all true? Are they all lies? Is this whole, entire existence a dream conjured up by a sleeping infant?
My head hurts.
I don’t believe #11, but I do believe #30 and #31. I know #22 is right and I also believe #23. Was this a test?
“1. I have brought forth three offspring upon the earth. (The Hot Comma Momma did most of the work, but until she gets her own list or they do something really bad, I’m taking credit.)”
4 spawns from your seed?! God help us all!
28 is true.
Brent did well on his test, in case anyone was really concerned.
Sally,
If you had to ask if this was a test, then I will give you an A to ensure your self-esteem is lifted and your paranoia is lessened.
Who cares what is true or not….it all made me laugh! Ohmigod, is that a mullet in the photo? Say it ain’t so! (hey, you can’t publish a pic of a mullet and not expect something to be said! HA HA)
Hey, everybody should talk to themselves from time to time – or even email. We all need to hear from someone with some sense.
These number are making me dizzy. #38 comes after #37 right?
may I suggest Lester Piggot’s Spent Fuel Rod and Septic Pumping service in order to lighten the burden…Lester Piggot has been in the business for 27 years and is quick and reliable….you can find Lester’s place in Grand Island easily after dark.. it’s the building that has that attractive green glow around it….
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Sorry Debbie, but I still haven’t quite recovered from the last time I followed you. Can I just assume your off of your meds and go back to sleep?
Thank you Debbie, but when you get a chance to rub shoulders with genuinely talented folk, it resets your standards.
No. But I was a radio repairman, sadly sent into exile among the tankers and eventually the recon guys.
(Sniffle, sob)
But I stayed strong to the end.
And after that I grew that fine mullet you see in #28.
Rewind, edit, phew! only 3. For some reason I thought you said four. There’s still hope if there’s only 3. It’s that fourth one that would have done us all in.
God knew that.
Yes, he/she would have been the fourth horseman of the funkylips. That is why I am careful to never accidentally reproduce.
Sorry Wolf, I’m feeling a little meme-ed out. I will do better next time…If I’m ever so foolish as to re-enact this particular moment of masochism.
All these exemptions are making it sound like tax time again. Maybe you could file appendix exempt.
I was in a band. Somehow it seemed really important at the time.
Not so loud, your Lordship. You’ll wake the baby and then we’ll be in a fine mess.
I got all my answers right. Did you?
Not quite – if the baby awakens then we won’t be anything.
Thank Camille.
I meant THANKS.
To which test?
I’m not one of those narrow minded individuals who have to keep their numbers all chronological.
My numbers are all free range.
Thanks a lot. Now I can just make the call and go back to bed.
I think that takes me out of the running.
That was my own personal hair, grown and raised on my very own scalp.
I suppose I can’t expect it to pass unremarked. (sigh)