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The next in our series of poor excuses for blogging is What’s Up With Me Wednesday.

What’s Up With Me Wednesday ~ the Ominous Comma

The key to this spicy new meme is to find a fairly boring story, and pack it chock full of nicknames and acronyms without any sort of key or context in which to decipher them, or any reason why it would interest anyone outside your immediate family.

Stories about kids or pets work well for this purpose, children of pets are excellent. Adult Children of Exotic Forms of Marine Life is a support group that meets downstairs, but always has really good coffee.

For example:

Today was a crazy day!!! Big-G dropped off Lil-X, literally!! He dropped him right into the inflatable wading pool we keep in the living room for impromptu matches of oatmeal wrestling. It was filled with grits today because we were out of oatmeal thanks to SnuggleBum’s school project, Stonehenge in Ground Grains. Anyway, I was watching the Oprah special on Broadcast Lobotomies, can you believe that some shows actually make you stupider? I called FooBoo and Sassy to see what they thought, but they had stopped thinking for the day. Then I found this website with some really funny cats. I never realized that cats had such bad spelling. Talk about LUUSMNC.1 They were too much. Then I heard deep gurgling noises from the wresting pool where Midsized-J had eaten every last bit of the grits, even without butter, and found him filling his little diapers with it as fast as his stinky little pooper could poo. Anyway the ambulance arrived even before I called, making its usually six o’clock run to our house. Then–

Sorry, I couldn’t take anymore.

The real secret to a truly successful What’s Up With Me Wednesday is not interesting content, or the coherence of the telling but rather the sheer number of uninterrupted words on the screen. Don’t let white space slow your flow, people need to know you mean business by the way your words cover the screen like ants on a the remains of a detonated watermelon.

Show no mercy.

And no biographical post would be complete without lots of family pictures. The blurrier the better.

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This is me in a crowd of people you don’t know.

Crowd

This is me in a crowd of people I don’t know.

Crowd2

This is me being burned in effigy by a crowd of angry oatmeal wrestlers.

To spread the boisterous joy that knowledge of me inspires throughout the webosphere, I am hereby tagging the following non-me aware individuals:

  • Narcissus-X, a blog completely and thoroughly about itself.
  • MattressPolice, a blog that that has so far failed to be about me but I haven’t given up on.
  • DangerCouch, a blog that although is about me, is suffering from poor ratings.

Thank you for your continued participation in Blogging Week. Tomorrow: Thursday Thirty-Seven.

This post is milling about with the herd of the tragically not-about-me blogs over at humor-blogs.com.

  1. Laughed Until Urine Stained My New Clothes