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To ease the assimilation of cannibalistic peoples into American culture, Frito-Lay is introducing a new line of snack foods geared toward the Cannibal-American population.


I don’t even want to know how you know that

The first entry into this new snack market is Grandma’s Rich and Chewy Cookies. These grandmother fortified pastries allow Cannibal-Americans to discreetly partake of their native cuisine during the difficult process of adopting American norms and values.

Other major food companies are monitoring this emerging market, with new cannibal friendly products rumored to be under development for well-established brands such as Little Debbie snacks, Uncle Tom’s rice, and Aunt Jemima syrup.