Doctor Harold Toboggans is a man painfully short on charm, humility, and most all other virtues. Due to his particularly aggressive take on empathy and nurture, it is not surprising that he has a phonebook-like list of enemies.
In fact, Victims Of Toboggans’s Ego has its own directory assistance in most cities in order to facilitate the vast number of subpoenas, restraining orders, and other litigation inspired by his expertise.
It appears that one of these many admirers has left the doctor a small token of their savaged esteem.
“________________________________________”
Please submit your captions and I will apprehend a cool vote-counter thing to help determine the winning entry.
The victor will be awarded generous bragging rights and a copy of Doctor T’s podcast: Ridding Yourself of Perfectly Normal Eccentricities and Large Amounts of Currency.
{ 40 comments… read them below or add one }
I hope this crate can stop on a diem.
Doctor Toboggans yearns to assist you even with the lower half of his body crushed beneath the tires of what appears to be an antique Toyota. Please shove your fee into his grimacing mouth, to ensure his silence on the subject of your problem.
The driver of the Toyota, “Comma 1,” was surprised to receive a bill from Dr. Toboggans for “vehicle undercarriage inspection services.”
“And by this secret laying on of hands from the Magical Mechanic’s Position and through the power invested in my very presence by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I command thee to HEAL THY WATERPUMP! HEAL!”
“Carpe Killem!”
“My lower half is at the intersection of cruel and unusual…find it and your next session is half-price!”
“The pack of deceased carniverous squirrels, still jammed in the radiator, takes revenge for Dr. T’s over priced, and as yet, incomplete and ineffective services.”
“The alarming sympathy you’re displaying stems from the misperception you suffer from that I am in danger of physical harm. Obviously you are unaware of my world-renown, highly sophisticated, electro-magnetic, hyperstatic desensitization techniques. Therefore, we will start those immediately upon your next visit.”
Keep up the good work people. Enter as often as you like. A caption a day keeps the doctor away.
(Lynn, Debbie, & Chris Non-C giggle as they each try to take control of the wheel)
Dr. T: “Ok, which one of you blithering, inept, weasels is Comma 1?”
“I could of guessed someone that drove a foreign car would pull this kind of crap.”
“After the comma, the full stop” !
Dr. T: “Don’t just stand there, call me a doctor!”
Everyone: “You’re a doctor!”
Badum, and indeed, tish.
Giving Birth to a new model Toyota was harder than the good Dr. thought.
“Ouuuuuuch…wait a minute! The driver’s female! Hopefully she’s wearing a skirt today (wink, wink!)
I can’t believe I’m being run over by a Toyota. I thought I chose my clients better than that.
Just don’t mess up the tie or the mustache.
okay, I give up. I don’t think I’ve bonded enough with Dr. T. to know what he’s thinking.
Brilliancy is seldom applauded.
Suddenly the answer hit him, and he remembered the last part he needed to type to load Jumpman on his Commodore 64. Load”*”,8,1 He would have a lot of time for games now that his pelvis was destroyed.
“I’ll still be charging you for this session. Oh, and your insurance doesn’t cover vanity plates.”
Finally, I’ve tracked down the last person owning one of those ridiculous ties; fashion is saved once again…
Did they give you a special stupid license today Comma 1?
That sure is a good looking picture. Love the truck, love the tie, love the ’stache.
Life is good.
Hi Brent,
First, I want to say I really enjoy your blog. Being new here, I hesitate to intrude, but I hope you’ll allow me to try my hand at your contest.
“Doctor Toboggan’s unfortunate ‘accident’ has at least one positive aspect. He no longer requires the use of commas. All of his future writing will be done with a semi-colon.”
Cheers,
Don
“Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”
Haha! I notice my caption got removed.
Did I offend?
My apologies if I did.
Debbie,
You and I both that Dr. T would never say that!
Yeah!!!!
Flying Spaghetti Monster, uhhh, someone has been reading too many late night bedtime stories.
Yes, we all know that Dr. T would most definantely say this!
Three cheers for the squirrels!!!!
I am still laughing… give me a minute…
I for one can’t stop!
The giggles have now erroded into a full-out sinster cackle!!!
Sure he would! Notice he said half-price and not free!
No really Lynn, the FSM is a real living floating entity! I even have some of his merchandise. Check out the cool website!
http://www.venganza.org/
Pastafarians Unite!
Does that mean that he quadruples the price first and then halves it!?
Exactly!
Hate the truck, hate the tie, hate the ’stache, and in general can’t stand Dr. T.