Caption Contest – Diem Style

Doctor Harold Toboggans is a man painfully short on charm, humility, and most all other virtues. Due to his particularly aggressive take on empathy and nurture, it is not surprising that he has a phonebook-like list of enemies.

In fact, Victims Of Toboggans’s Ego has its own directory assistance in most cities in order to facilitate the vast number of subpoenas, restraining orders, and other litigation inspired by his expertise.

It appears that one of these many admirers has left the doctor a small token of their savaged esteem.

Doctor Harold Toboggans gets some air


Please submit your captions and I will apprehend a cool vote-counter thing to help determine the winning entry.

The victor will be awarded generous bragging rights and a copy of Doctor T’s podcast: Ridding Yourself of Perfectly Normal Eccentricities and Large Amounts of Currency.

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40 Responses to Caption Contest – Diem Style

  1. Brad Shorr says:

    I hope this crate can stop on a diem.

  2. Karen says:

    Doctor Toboggans yearns to assist you even with the lower half of his body crushed beneath the tires of what appears to be an antique Toyota. Please shove your fee into his grimacing mouth, to ensure his silence on the subject of your problem.

  3. wolf says:

    The driver of the Toyota, “Comma 1,” was surprised to receive a bill from Dr. Toboggans for “vehicle undercarriage inspection services.”

  4. Jami says:

    “And by this secret laying on of hands from the Magical Mechanic’s Position and through the power invested in my very presence by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I command thee to HEAL THY WATERPUMP! HEAL!”

  5. Debbie says:

    “Carpe Killem!”

  6. Debbie says:

    “My lower half is at the intersection of cruel and unusual…find it and your next session is half-price!”

  7. Chris non-C says:

    “The pack of deceased carniverous squirrels, still jammed in the radiator, takes revenge for Dr. T’s over priced, and as yet, incomplete and ineffective services.”

  8. Youthful One says:

    “The alarming sympathy you’re displaying stems from the misperception you suffer from that I am in danger of physical harm. Obviously you are unaware of my world-renown, highly sophisticated, electro-magnetic, hyperstatic desensitization techniques. Therefore, we will start those immediately upon your next visit.”

  9. Brent says:

    Keep up the good work people. Enter as often as you like. A caption a day keeps the doctor away.

  10. Debbie says:

    (Lynn, Debbie, & Chris Non-C giggle as they each try to take control of the wheel)

    Dr. T: “Ok, which one of you blithering, inept, weasels is Comma 1?”

  11. Pope Terry says:

    “I could of guessed someone that drove a foreign car would pull this kind of crap.”

  12. Prem Rao says:

    “After the comma, the full stop” !

  13. Lord Likely says:

    Dr. T: “Don’t just stand there, call me a doctor!”

    Everyone: “You’re a doctor!”

    Badum, and indeed, tish.

  14. Sherry says:

    Giving Birth to a new model Toyota was harder than the good Dr. thought.

  15. Kadi says:

    “Ouuuuuuch…wait a minute! The driver’s female! Hopefully she’s wearing a skirt today (wink, wink!)

  16. rjlight says:

    I can’t believe I’m being run over by a Toyota. I thought I chose my clients better than that.

  17. rjlight says:

    Just don’t mess up the tie or the mustache.

  18. rjlight says:

    okay, I give up. I don’t think I’ve bonded enough with Dr. T. to know what he’s thinking.

  19. rjlight says:

    Brilliancy is seldom applauded.

  20. renalfailure says:

    Suddenly the answer hit him, and he remembered the last part he needed to type to load Jumpman on his Commodore 64. Load”*”,8,1 He would have a lot of time for games now that his pelvis was destroyed.

  21. John says:

    “I’ll still be charging you for this session. Oh, and your insurance doesn’t cover vanity plates.”

  22. VE says:

    Finally, I’ve tracked down the last person owning one of those ridiculous ties; fashion is saved once again…

  23. Debbie says:

    Did they give you a special stupid license today Comma 1?

  24. Brent says:

    That sure is a good looking picture. Love the truck, love the tie, love the ‘stache.

    Life is good.

  25. Don says:

    Hi Brent,

    First, I want to say I really enjoy your blog. Being new here, I hesitate to intrude, but I hope you’ll allow me to try my hand at your contest.

    “Doctor Toboggan’s unfortunate ‘accident’ has at least one positive aspect. He no longer requires the use of commas. All of his future writing will be done with a semi-colon.”



  26. Cardboard Ninja says:

    “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”

  27. JMorris says:

    Haha! I notice my caption got removed.

    Did I offend?

    My apologies if I did.