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“This is Doctor Harold Toboggans and due to the escape of one of my inmates clients, I am afraid I have no wisdom to share with you today. Instead, I must concentrate all my energies on recovering my poor lost patient.

Doctor Harold Toboggans-Furious

She answers to the name Lynn. She is highly distraught, emotionally unstable, and nothing she says should be taken too literally. Especially if it incriminates me.

At this very moment my therapeutic minions are scouring the countryside for her…which is rather counterproductive considering that our facility is located in a urban island metropolis. Please excuse me for one minute…

Alright. My new minions are now sweeping the coastline and searching all outbound transport, desperate to retrieve this poor, fractured woman, so she may continue her CounterRetrogressionImmersiveInduction Therapy before all progress is lost. Any information concerning the whereabouts of this fugitive can be forwarded to this publication. Just don’t expect any money.

As you can see, I am far too busy to provide you with a glimpse of my genius today.

My secretary will show you out.”

Learn more about the amazing Dr. Toboggans here. Another service from your intelligent humor provider: the Ominous Comma.


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