Sneaking Up On Life From Oblique Angles
From the category archives:
I woke with a start, my sleep shattered like a fortune cookie in a sledgehammer factory.
Wiping the crusts from my eyes, my mind filled with the usual questions:
How long had I been out?
Where did October go?
And worst of all…
Why were Doctor Toboggans‘ clothes strewn all over my house?
I wasn’t sure I wanted the answers.
….Unless of [...]
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Sometimes incredible just isn’t good enough.
Last May, when the revolutionary Zombies Anonymous program was introduced, it was met with rave reviews and hundreds of overjoyed customers.
But Doctor Harold Toboggans wasn’t satisfied.
He knew that there must be something more, something that he and the dedicated staff at Toboggans Industries could do to relieve those reanimated wretches [...]
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And it came to pass that when the storm of voting subsided, a winner emerged from the soggy ruins of digital democracy to claim his crown and the due honor that accompanied it.
And the people rejoiced, for they had secretly feared that the voting might continue unto their children and their children’s children and their children’s children’s children until all posterity cursed them for ever starting the thing in the first place.
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We interrupt your previously scheduled Anniversary Celebration to bring you the following Urgent News Development:
Doctor Harold Toboggans has been found.
After an unexplained six-month absence, self-renown psychologist and internet racketeer Harold toboggans was spotted by several witnesses today at a Memphis area park…
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At breakfast this morning I found a hair in my oatmeal.
A full mustache delicately floating in my bowl
Clearly, it is a sign. Somewhere, somehow, in some thoroughly obnoxious way, Doctor Harold Toboggans in on the move…
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