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This is it. The first post of a new year.

At this auspicious juncture, many writers would take the opportunity to look back over the recently expired year and reflect on personal accomplishments, world events, or even sizable bowel movements.

But many writers don’t run this site.

Although several have been known to gaze with desire upon its fearsome might, none have succeeded in wresting the reigns of powers from my adjective-infused grasp.1|2

So as the controlling interest of this publication, I have chosen to ruminate upon a more noble and uplifting topic. Specifically, Cool Things I Got For Christmas.

Important Note:

Although I am on the verge of openly basking in the glory of my materialistic holiday gains and those who bestowed them upon me, don’t think for a minute that Christmas is in any way about anything as petty as stuff.

Christmas is about people. It is about family, friends, coworkers, and anyone else who, with the least bit of human kindness on this festive occasion, might be motivated to give you the petty stuff .

Now that we have established this crucial distinction, let’s look at the loot.

Ominous Calligraphy

First up is this beautifully handmade display of letters in motion, provided as literary inspiration by the traumatically snubbed Roann. If your neo-annual resolutions include the desire to improve your overall level of culture and artistic appreciation, I recommend that you visit her site immediately and buy one of everything.

My Newest Book

Next is Steve Martin’s latest book, Born Standing Up. This inspiring autobiography was provided by Little Miss Ominous, and is nicely previewed by longtime Comma supporter and frequent commentor, Debbie, on her shiny new blog.

Never one to espouse a lopsided approach to gift distribution, every month is Christmas for Debbie, as she contributes to the intellectual property value of this publication via the Donate a Latte button conveniently located on every post of this blog.

The Ominous Aperture

Appalled at the apparently disturbing color-impairment inflicted by the last camera she donated, my sister, Ihavenonickname, provided the Comma community with this snazzy, new (to me) image-snatching appliance. It is replete with more than enough menus and modes to ensure that I will be offending the color-perceptions of readers for years to come with my stunning photographic ineptitude.

Baby Comma Presents

Doctor Toboggans will also be offending the senses this year with this lovely tie, provided and modeled by Comma Girl. The Arrogant One also received these delicious looking snacks, but refuses to share them with his blogmates.

Psychiatric Snacks

His shocking display of ingratitude and selfishness reminds me of YouthfulOne.

Particularly, how as Comment Contest Winner, she was robbed of any sort of worthwhile prize for her efforts. As you may recall, she was promised:

…generous bragging rights and a copy of Doctor T’s podcast: Ridding Yourself of Perfectly Normal Eccentricities and Large Amounts of Currency.

And ended up with:

…a highly glamorous and exciting lifestyle pretty much indistinguishable from the one she currently leads. She has also won an exclusive podcast of the doctor’s incoherent babblings as well as simply staggering amounts of glory and prestige.

In the spirit of grace and mercy that occasionally still associates with this time of year, I could not bring myself to assault her with further exposure to Dr. T. So I have upgraded her prize, and am instead sending her a copy of my own live comedy DVD.3

The Prize

Watch it in good health YouthfulOne, you’ve earned it.

Happy New Year everyone. See you Friday.

This post reminiscing nostalgically over 2007 at

  1. For those interested in trying, the title will be on the line at WBF² ReignWrest XII.
  2. The World Blogcast Flatulation is the premier authorship combat league in the western hemisphere, matched only by Beijing’s Westheimer Excursionary Bloggafiends in fierceness and payperstat syndication.
  3. Those looking for a punch line will have to actually make a purchase. I really do have a DVD. Hard to believe I know.