Have you noticed how much time bloggers spend apologizing for not blogging?
How many times have you read something like this:
Sorry I haven’t posted in the last two days, my new job/unemployment/self-administered lobotomy has taken up a lot of my time lately. But to make it up to you, I promise to liveblog my entire upcoming root canal….
Well let me tell you that life happens. And when it does, sometimes what you really need is not approval-begging excuses, but a support group to fall back on.
You need people, good people. People you can count on, people who aren’t afraid to back you up or refer to themselves by cute animal nicknames, or even sell you wooden drinking cups.
That’s why when I took my blogging break a few months ago, I left with confidence knowing that the humor-blogging corner of the internet was safe in the capable hands1 of my friends Lobo and Don Lewis.
Don Lewis with time on his capable hands
So imagine my surprise when upon my return to active bloggery I discovered that although Lobo had held up his end of the humorisphere2, Olympic yak juggler, aftershave test pilot, and all around tough guy Don Lewis had fled the internet like a lisping tobogganeer, leaving nothing but tumbleweeds blowing at his humorium url.
Those of you who have been reading the Comma for a while may remember how this same Don Lewis, and his holding company Donco, once launched a hostile takeover of my blog. Back in those days Don seemed to think he could handle two high caliber humor blogs without breaking a sweat. Now somehow, the number of blogs Don is capable of handling seems to have dwindled to zero.
This is a mystery worthy of Leonard Nimoy and I have sworn to get to the bottom of it no matter how dark, smelly, or generally unwiped it may proved to be.
That’s why I am going to drive Don Lewis to the surface using the most dastardly means at my disposal…
This video:
The concept is simple one that I learned in my Marine Corps days, I will punish everyone, everywhere with these merciless videos until Don Lewis comes forward.
Anyone with information regarding Don’s whereabouts will be rewarded with earplugs.
Start talking.
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- Please don’t ask what those hands are capable of, it would only make you an accessory. «
- For the more literal minded readers, who are no doubt wondering at this very moment how a sphere can have an end to uphold, just wait until you try to figure out which corner Unfinished Rambler has peeing in. «
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
I thought I saw some guy in a kilt passing photos to Dr. T at Starbucks last night. The envelope had DONCO written it and there was a dismal attempt at sinister laughter that ended when White Chocolate Mocha and foam shot out of his nose. So you can count that place off the list. I doubt he’ll be back anytime soon. Earplugs please!!!!!
Man that’s weird you brought this up … I was thinking about this recently: I emailed Don within hours of his site shutdown and didn’t get an answer.
*poof!*
His last post was about “buying a cow.” How weird and creepy is that?
-I always assumed he was still trying to housebreak it.
Hmmm…the only Don I know works in the appliance department at Lowes.
That song was touching.
I mean, it touched me in places I don’t think it should have, and now I might need to go scrub myself with Borax.
I swear, I haven’t seen Don, but hopefully he’ll surface before more videos do…
You fiend!
You knew that – like Superman, (only without the muscles and cod-piece) the only thing that could effect my resolve to retire in dignity (couldn’t afford the cost of living in dignity, settled for northern Idaho.) was the combined cries of agony from the Free Peoples of the Earth!
Very well then.
You shall reap what you sew. And ride the whirlwind too if I have anything to say about it. (I think there’s something about a whirlwind and sewing. Can’t imagine the connection, but those biblical johnnies were always so obtuse. Uh…where was I?)
Anyway. I’m back.
And LOBO: Just because you wrote me an email that I fully intended to answer but didn’t, doesn’t give you any kind of moral high ground or anything. There can easily be a whirlwind with your name sewed on it too buddy. Watch it.
Righteous song. I mean really. I never knew that Donco could have such a sweet ring to it. You must be hiding in my closet and documenting my activities…because I..myself did just blog post apologizing for my absence. How did you know? Were you the voices in my head I heard? Hmm.
*must check warnings in side of pill bottle*
I also just made a music video on my blog. Maybe with your talents and voice and my photoshop/editing skills we could get something going?
(here from Don AKA Donco)
Hey Donco….
Where’s my pocket fisherman?
From your boundless melody… thats near your spleen right.
Chris non-C – I’m not convinced, that could have been Doctor Toboggans.
LOBO -I thought it meant that he got married, and perhaps she had him locked in closet somewhere.
LiveWire -You’re going to have to do better than that if want any earplugs.
wolf – I don’t think Borax is going to cut it. Unless you apply it with a power sander.
Don Lewis -So you have added meteorological embroidery to your already impressive list of skills. I’m sure you’ll need it in the new blogging economy, unless of course you receive some of those bailout posts the government is handing out.
jeolmstead -I never got one either, I am thinking about suing some one for all my emotional damages.
The Hussy Housewife -Did the voices sing in harmony? Mine can’t decide what key to start in. And sure, let’s put something together. I’m always ready to infect the netosphere a little bit more with my madness
Alex L. – Right to the left of my pancreas. And if I don’t don’t get these songs out regularly they back up and cause bloating and pockets of swamp gas.
All of this Blog competition is rekindling a desire to do my own, but, alas I find that it is easier to just hang out on yours.
It is after all the thought that counts and since I thought about it I no longer have to follow through.
It reminds me of the time I thought I would study philosophy. I lost interest however when I found out all the good questions had been asked.
Some one had the one about the meaning of life; someone else had the one about a tree falling in the woods.
The only one I found remaining was
“Where are my car keys?”
And that was too big for a mere mortal to tackle
John O.
I would have loved to see a dissertation on Unlocking Your Inner Vehicle. But even if you are truly without transport, feel free to pull up a stool here where “everybody knows your avatar.”
Well very rarely blogging is the most important thing in anyone’s life so it’s obvious that there’ll be time when bloggers don’t feel like writing or simply can’t find the time. Unless it’s some obscene ammount of time (like 2 months) there’s nothing to be apologising for.
Poznan,
Don’t incourage him to be lazy. After all, this is about the needs of the readers, not him
It’s a lot of work for me to click on the shortcut to this site. I expect to be entertained when I get here.
Pozycjonowanie Poznan -Clearly you are new here. Don has much to apologize for, no doubt it is coming up with those apologies which has taken him so long to get back to the internet.
jeolmstead -Yeah, what you said.