Due Process

Last week Brent asked me to be a guest blogger while he was on vacation. Actually it was more like begging and I hate to see a grown man grovel so I said yes. I’m kidding, he paid me. Kidding again, he didn’t ask. I hacked his domain and hijacked today’s post spot because that is how I roll…

…Rickroll.

Hey at least I used the death metal version. Much less lame. Somehow Slayer doing Rick Astley seems unholy though, especially when set to the same video.

He also called for people to explain their thought process on writing humor. Since I couldn’t come up with anything else to write about I figured whatever, kill two birds with one stone. I love doing that because it saves time and makes the hippies and enviro-nuts mad at the same time. A win-win situation in my book.

Writing a humor blog is challenging. Every time I start my computer up I have to deal with my anti-virus and firewall software updates. That’s like twenty minutes right there, especially with having to restart the PC because some company told me their software isn’t really ready unless I reboot. Then Firefox decides to update as well. Then a Mythbusters I haven’t seen is showing on Discovery.

Still I preserver.

There were many times I wanted to talk about how an idea becomes a rough draft then develops into a final post. I would go on and on about all the twists and turns the idea took, sometimes even changing completely. I would explain how long they take to create from start to finish.

You can wake up now.

This would be like when you go to Open Mike night and there’s some moonbat explaining why every note is there, and the meaning behind each chord for like an hour. Usually it is a boring story of how their crappy song brings back memories of their dead uncle when in reality their relative was more like Uncle Ned on Family Ties.

Play the song already and pass the vanilla extract.

One thing you have to be careful using are obscure references like that one I just made. In the Uncle Ned (‘Say Uncle’) episode he downs a bottle of vanilla extract to Elyse’s horror and states: “What, did you want some?” Unless you have seen it you will have no clue what I mean and it wouldn’t be funny.

Explaining the joke is killing the joke by the way.

By now you might have figured out I must not have a thought process on writing a humor blog. I do. My creativity is like Neo in The Matrix. The rest of my brain is like Councilor Hamann who wonders how I come up with what I write about.

The only difference is that my humor isn’t going to save the world any time soon. But it does have a purpose: to entertain.

Isn’t that the most important thing in a humor blog post anyways? Well, midgets and monkeys are a big help too but they have to be entertaining or dressed up in scenes from famous movies.

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Great, but somewhat belated thanks to Chris Cameron of Angry Seafood for this rousing yet low sodium guest post.

Show this man some Comma love: vote this on Humor-Blogs.com

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Tagged as: guest post, humor, meme, writing