Fall Furniture In The Atmosphere

November has come at last, like a long awaited physical examination. Days are getting shorter, sideburns are getting longer, and DangerCouch is in the air.

For recently comatose or culturally under-informed readers, DangerCouch is my other project, a comic ensemble of actor-musicians who joyously subvert the webosphere, with videos, songs, and even a blog.

Being a fairly unique and multi-faceted phenomenon, DangerCouch is difficult for me to describe. Indeed, giving an worthy description of DangerCouch while being limited by the constraints of human language has been a challenge taken up by philosophers throughout the ages, as demonstrated by the following collection of highly historical quotes:

• “They are disturbingly humorous and extremely sticky, just like the time I filled Socrates’ beard with ants and honey while he slept.”

-Aristotle
Unpublished Confessions of Startling Immaturity

• “Above and beyond the frail furnishing of humanity lies the Danger Couch, surpassing all mortal concerns.”

Friedrich Nietzsche

Thus Sat Zarathustra

• “Existence lacks meaning without the Couch. In addition, I want my mommy”

-Jean-Paul Sartre

Life And Other Sad Occurrences.

Imagine taking a healthy helping of Monty Python, sprinkling it with shredded essence of Ominous Comma, immersing it in a simmering vat of Parliament Funkadelic, garnishing it with assorted sasquatch, chupacabra, and mutating Christmas tinsel, and serving it up hot, with a side of freshly picked ninjas.

Then, take that whole mess and put it in the refrigerator overnight. The next morning, try to separate the congealed and clumping mass of unidentifiable foodstuffs with a cutting torch.

DangerCouch is the scorched and smoldering crust that remains.

Every year we the Crust the Couch put on a single show, a multimedia presentation of live music, recorded video, theatric comedy all in a Christmas theme.

This year’s show will be on December 6, and so for the next 32 days I will be filming scenes, writing lyrics, and learning lines.

I bring this up because local law enforcement likes for me to announce these things well in advance after what happened last year:

…Within minutes lines formed in front of every TicketBlaster outlet. After several hours, the police were called in to direct automotive traffic around the multi-mile-long ticket lines. Things turned ugly when word got out that there no tickets available. Building were burned, heads were shaved, people ran screaming in the streets. Then it was announced that no tickets would be required, because admission would be a mere two canned food items to be donated to hungry.

Then everyone felt really silly. They stopped rioting. They helped to clean up the mess. Some of them bought wigs. And then they went home.

-from the DangerCouch blog

Anyway, if for some chance I am late answering comments, returning emails, or signing autographs, blame it on the delinquent influence of the Couch.

You know I will.

This post discovered under the cushions and among the lost change at humor-blogs.com

Tagged as: Danger Couch, humor, testimonials