Generic Child Care

Ever since we acquired our generic child, I have been keeping an eye out for an appropriate child care facility for a small person of her caliber, on the off chance that I am called away to receive a prestigious writing award. Or perhaps a job.

I had almost given up hope of ever finding such an institution when I came across this upstanding example of generic child care.

Generic Child Care ~ the Ominous Comma

It meets the most stringent requirements of a discerning parent like myself:

  • It has a sign.
  • It is accessible from a paved road.
  • It is adjacent a Chinese restaurant.

More Generic Child Care ~ the Ominous Comma

I know that some parents would insist on expensive extras, such as a city license, meals prepared the same week, and perhaps an exclusively non-psychotic staff, but I am just not that shallow.

I want our new child to be able to see beyond fancy labels and advertising, and at Generic Child Care, her view should be unimpeded.

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13 Responses to Generic Child Care

  1. Kymerean says:

    LOL, thats great. Fancy childcare is completely over rated. All parents should be as motivated as you to find reliable childcare and chinese food within walking distance.

    LOL, great post.

  2. Debbie says:

    Sign me up! I like the fact that they march the kids to the Chinese restaurant around 1:00 to wash dishes. It gives them a sense of realism. Who needs nap time anyway?

  3. John O.. says:

    If you look carefully you will see that once it was a “Jack N Jill”

    Unfortunately “Jack” fell down, leaving only “Jill”

    (Jill tumbled down at a latter time)

  4. Howard says:

    Is the 4,379 the number they’ve served?

    …as dinner? [insert ominous theme music here]

    Wait, why don’t you have theme music? You have ominous in your title?

  5. Chris says:

    Why does their sign look like a dental instrument?

  6. Jayne says:

    Why, there’s probably a whole world of products for generic children that I haven’t even heard of before. Amazing!

  7. the frogster says:

    Doubly nice. It’s nice to see that someone is rushing to fill that Generic Children niche market, and it’s nice to see someone getting more than one post out of an idea. Well, done, Brent. Well done.

  8. Keli says:

    I always thought there was a strong market out there for average child care. Now some one has beaten me to it.
    Clever post!

  9. VE says:

    I hope it contains generic books. You know, blank covers and pages and pages of random words.

  10. BillyWarhol says:

    The Sign is also in the shape of a Paddle to SMACK their Asses into Behaving!!

    PERFECT!!

    ;PPP

    Come here ya little…….

  11. Brent says:

    VE,
    The first run of generic books were just as you describe, but the teachers soon found that nothing is ever truly random, so the books were redesigned.

    Now in the center of every page of every book, it simply says, “a page.”

    Except for the last one which says “the end.”

    Billy,
    I always saw it as a spoonful of mayonnaise, part of a nutritious daycare diet.

  12. Heidi says:

    This is a hilarious post – thanks!

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