Hello Comma readers, this is Camille. My husband Brent usually does the writing around here but he’s “busy” right now.
In fact, he’s been busy a lot lately, especially for someone that until recently was only working part time. But he’s working now, and between his new job, finals, and the upcoming concert, he says he’s feeling a little “overwhelmed.”
Clearly, he’s never been a mother.
He’s also never finished my short list of household chores, which any man with his talents and free time could have easily completed by now.
So I am kindly requesting advice from anyone who can help me “encourage” our dear author (and the love of my life) to finish some of the items on my list. Or if not, to simply donate some money so that I can hire someone to do it, preferably someone with all of their teeth.
My husband seems to think that because he is so extremely handsome and talented and busy that he can slough off these items; however, as I’m sure you will agree, these items are not the sloughable type.
- – Set squirrel traps around bottom of mailbox. (Don’t tell Lynn) It would be nice if I decided which pieces of mail to shred.
- – Clean out the lint from behind the dryer. You also still need to put up the new drywall from the last dryer fire.
- – Remove tear gas canisters from pantry. This is the second time in two weeks that I have been unable to stop crying. Once a month is bad enough.
- – Remove the throwing stars wedged inside the washing machine. (Please make this item a priority, because I can’t keep hand-washing the ninja robes and I can’t endure the stares at the laundromat again either.)
- -Pick up your wigs. If I have asked you 10 times, I have asked you 100 times. The bird has already built a nest in them and if you don’t hurry, there’ll be eggs.
- I need you to talk to Chris non-C and have him come get his teacup moose. I know that you are very busy and it probably seems trivial and a bit like nagging to you, but it keeps spitting at our guests and it is really throwing me way down the social ladder. (I think our days of pet-sitting are over.)
- – Rake leaves. I know it doesn’t seem critical to you, but slippery leaves can cause accidents and OSHA has already warned us that the fines will be tripled if they have to return again this week.
- – Please remind everyone to attend the upcoming Dangercouch concert on December 6 at 7pm. The good news is that the nice men in the black sedan said that they are coming too.
I thank you in advance for your timely response and support.
In need your help,
As you can see, this is a very reasonable list. I just need some way to get him on it.
How do you motivate your resident author/student/handyman?
He also spends a lot of non-working time over at humor-blogs.com