Hades Containment Failure At Ominous Comma

by Brent on December 27, 2007

in Adventures of the Author

Recently, in a well-intentioned attempt at shirking my blogging responsibilities, I posted what I thought to be a fairly funny picture and invited the many and beloved readers of this blog to offer up their own individual takes on my lovely, hand laser-printed artistic creation.

Used Author - Cheap!

“Exhibit A”

As an afterthought, keeping in mind that it is a busy season for many, I added a short list of links to certain humor-blogs community members, carefully selected on the basis of the following strict criteria:

  • Bloggers who recently commented on OC posts.
  • Bloggers who once commented on OC posts and have subsequently decided they can no longer stand the torment of communicating with me.
  • Bloggers I had previously bookmarked as being relevant to my particular humor niche.

As I was finishing my post, I left my cursor hovering above the publish button as I thought to myself,

“This is an awfully short list, I sure hope no one reads too much into it. I would hate for anyone to assume for instance, that these few people have achieved Most Favored Reader status, or that my regular readers are humor-impaired and I have to call in specialists for an operation of this complexity, or that at this point in the work-blog-sleep cycle I am more than just barely conscious.”

But then I yawned savagely, clicked the button, and went bed.

Upon reviewing today’s comments, my keen sense of English literacy and pistitudal perception reveal to me that I may have made a slight miscalculation in ignoring my semi-comatose concerns.

After an emergency session with my not-as-former-as-I-would-like analyst, Doctor Harold Toboggans, I have been persuaded that the only remedy for my current dilemma is an experimental new treatment of the doctor’s devising: Cathartic Implosion. Also known in certain less-desirable neighborhoods of Lower Albania under the name Confessional Blogiatrics.

Step Into The Light With Doctor Harold Toboggans

So in keeping with Dr. T’s alarmingly expensive psychiatric regimen, allow me to offer my humble and heartfelt apologies to:

Lynn
Debbie
Roann
John O
Camille
YouthfulOne
Karen
Wolf

And all of the regular Little Comma contributors that I did not specifically call out by name in my ill-advised Invitation to Participation.

I also want to apologize to each and every one of the huddled masses who come to this site expecting to be treated better than this. I want you all to know that I am signing myself up for an extended course of Therapeutic Flogging at my local Toboggans Institute of Literary Disciple until I can develop the necessary sensitivity, most likely in the posterior regions, required of a high profile blogger like myself.

In addition, I would like to apologize to everyone involved in the following Link-Flock of Doom for privately smirking every time it descended upon an unwary,  freshly washed, blog.

0-Cotojo1-Lisa ,2-Kim, 3-Deborah, 4-Pearl, 5-Sandy, 6-Jesse, 7-Chris, 8-Zubli Zainordin, 9-Santa, 10-Blog Elf, 11-Jackie, 12-Marzie, 13-Adrian, 14-Jos, 15-NAFA SG, 16-Polli, 17-Sue, 18-Kathy 19-Maartje, 20-Morgan,
21-Greg, 22-MaryAnn, 23-Eric, 24-Hawk, 25-Carol, 26-Diane, 27-Ev Nucci, 28-Surjit, 29-Kuanyin, 30-Christy Z, 31-Sandee, 32-Robin, 33-Hanna, 34-Maunie, 35-Kim, 36-Bobby, 37-Billy, 38-David, 39-Jennifer, 40-Aryst, 41-Winston, 42-Christy, 43-LilyRuth, 44-Jess, 45-Rudy, 46-Lynda, 47-Lili, 48-Sandy G, 49-Ange, 50-BlackWyrm, 51-Vincent, 52-Colin & Anne, 53-Blandly Urbane, 54-Marco, 55-Mihaela Lica, 56-John C, 57-Aziz-sm, 58-Ugyen, 59-Lansy, 60-Alex Badalic, 61-Victors, 62-Nostalgia
Manila, 63-Franco Yong, 64-Herby, 65-Rubie, 66-Santaram & BVK, 67-Jean-david, 68-Namgay, 69-Catherine, 70-Yunita P, 71-PJ Lighthouse, 72-Lorimer Black, 73-Dream Catcher, 74-Fred Plimley, 75-Anja Merret, 76-Maria Lourdes, 77-Jon B, 78-Aayush, 79-Denise, 80-Dharmendra P, 81-Brent D, 82-Jerry & Daryl McCoy, 83-Brian B, 84-Calvin Innes, 85-Pieter Marburn, 86-Jessica Field, 87-Taflas, 88-Alex Sysoef, 89-Norie, 90-Justin Stanley, 91-Ashish, 92-David Ledoux, 93-Thanate Tan, 94-Kevin, 95-Etienne, 96-Gerbera, 97-Christina, 98-Abhishek d, 99-Uprai, 100-Texas_Jam, 101-Azmiel, 102-Daniel,
103-Kristin B, 104-Luwis, 105-Adavait, 106-Now Sourcing, 107-Buen Amigo, 108-Kiran Pande, 109-Peterson Wong, 110-Lynn, 111-Chessnoid, 112-Luis Hipolito, 113-Joliveira, 114-Jennifer & Pete, 115-Team Dog, 116-Megan, 117-Mark, 118-Raivyn, 119-Mel, 120-Andrea, 121-Jen / domestika, 122-Mimi, 123-Bobo, 124-Lynda Lehmann, 125-Dread Bob, 126-Julie, 127-RennyBA, 128-Bobbarama, 129-Becky, 130-Magdalena, 131-Michelle, 132-Stacie, 133-Climate of Our Future Team, 134-CashMarble, 135-OilOffShoreMarine, 136-Jos Additional BlogLove, 137-Piper, 138-Barbara, 139-Ann, 140-Deb,
141-madang.com, 142-RamblingMoo.com, 143-blogginginmypyjamas, 144-StylewithPassion, 145-Chinneeq, 146-Dora-zooropazoo, 147-Babyshern, 148-HiPnCooLMoMMa 149-Rachel’s Soulful Thoughts 150-When Silence Speaks, 151-Dancing in Midlife Tune, 152-Underneath it All, 153- I am Dzoi, 154-Hobbies and Such, 155-moms…..check nyo, 156-Choc Mint Girl, 157-Amel’s Realm, 158- My Thoughts, 159-Rusin Roundup, 160-Juliana’s Site, 161-Max, 162-Rooms of My Heart, 163-A Great Pleasure, 164-LadyJava’s Lounge,
165-Jesie, 166-Steven, 167-Trinity, 168-Leena, 169-Nick, 170-Nessa, 171-Debbie Dolphin, 172- Anna t, 173-krrey_boo, 174-Logic, 175-Steve Ho, 176-Virtual Entrepreneur, 177-WalksFarWoman, 178-Anna, Beth & Cory’s Mom, 179-Toon, 180-Belinda 181-EPSpeaks, 182-Colorado Baby, 183-jafajfer, 184-pmonchet, 185-Aslan, 186-arouetvoltaire , 187-Tanny, 188-Il vaso di Pandora, 189-Non Lineare, 190-Omniamundamundis, 191-LineaNeuronica, 192-Semplicemente Lisa 193-la penna che graffia
194-Angelbaby, 195-Divya, 196-Cyn, 197-Donna, 198-Liudmila, 199-djeblog, 200-Gracie Belle, 201-Reverend Ray, 202-Walter Winstuff, 203-Denny, 204-Terry (mee mOe), 205-awannabe, 206-Z.S., 207-Il Gnagnera,208-Kevin Grieves,209-DatCurious,210-DatMoney,211-Sanni,212-Rolando’s Quiet Space,213-SatoNa

I also want to apologize to my most recent history teacher for secretly muttering under my breath that he was “A real winner,” because that clearly wasn’t true.

And while I am at it, let me apologize to every last reality television show for publicly rooting for your swift demise.1

Happy Friday everyone.

I don’t know about you, but I feel all pringly inside.

This post hanging apologetically at humor-blogs.com

  1. Of course, I am not really sorry, but I still have hope of getting my money’s worth from Toboggans. «

{ 61 comments… read them below or add one }

wolf December 27, 2007 at 11:15 pm

So many apologies – and I made the list! Wow! It really wasn’t necessary, but thanks. Now I must give some actual thought to Exhibit A. Just keep Dr. T away, okay?

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Lynn December 27, 2007 at 11:28 pm

Debbie,
Cancel “Blow Him Out of the Water.” Just having to spend any amount of time with Dr. T is punishment enough. At least he will think twice now before leaving our names out of any list. As everyone knows we are “special people!”

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Lynn December 27, 2007 at 11:29 pm

Roann,
I must apologize for Brent. You know that he “just a man.”

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JMorris December 27, 2007 at 11:42 pm

Oh, I see how it is!

We engage in a little mutual stalking for a few weeks, exchange a few humorous comments, swap some traffic and links, then that’s the end of the affair, huh?

No phone call, no email, not so much as a “thanks” for the “good time”!

And I really thought we had something special!

I hope you don’t take that seriously. :-P

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Camille December 28, 2007 at 12:17 am

Brent,
While I appreciate you including my name in “the list,” it really was not necessary. I made your “list” a long time ago. Thanks for your thoughtfulness. Please do not spend too much time with Dr. T. You know how I feel about that man.

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Camille December 28, 2007 at 12:19 am

While others may “make offers,” I “create an offer.”

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hanna December 28, 2007 at 3:53 am

Link-Flock…
hahaha
“I don’t know about you, but I feel all pringly inside.”
have you a great Friday!

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Ev Nucci December 28, 2007 at 6:07 am

Well let’s see I’ve made the list for now, but as with the humor blogs, I’m sure I’ll be banished from the list sooner or later…not funny enough, goofy humor…too childlike…too serious…too ridiculous!

Whatever it maybe…whatever it is it keeps me laughing!!! LOL

Thanks for the link love my friend…and I loved this post…I found it hilarious! Course I’m a child, ask my kids!

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Ev Nucci December 28, 2007 at 6:07 am

Oh, I forgot, I linked into you as well my friend!

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hanna December 28, 2007 at 7:43 am

hey Brent!
Tu hai corretto il mio comma!!!
non vale!

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Karen December 28, 2007 at 8:13 am

No need to apologize dear, just tell me if I had the high bid? Alan (the hubby) could use some help around the house. Fridays are always good, ESPECIALLY if you have pringlies inside!

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John O.. December 28, 2007 at 11:19 am

I guess I should be magnanimous about the whole thing. Since I realize that I am just one of the little people on whose back you have built your kingdom.

It is good to be remembered in the 2nd list. I guess that kinda like being “second string”, a bench warmer sort of guy, the water boy, the towel guy, the team “special member” (like Radio). The drooling retarded kid you keep around out of some sense pity.

John O.

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John O.. December 28, 2007 at 11:20 am

(of pity)

duh

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Debbie December 28, 2007 at 11:30 am

My offer still stands (although my comment from yesterday did not go through…user error I’m sure) at ONE MILLION…

(…in Japanese Yen or maybe Indian Rupee, whichever currency is the lowest right now)

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Paula December 28, 2007 at 2:21 pm

Well well. I have a tag like that too but mine says woman (I think). OH MY GOD, you just reminded me I am beginning my last year of my thirties. Now I have to secretly hate you. As for the link-flock of doom, I am on that list (as my alter-ego Polliwog), so it’s a list of glory not doom you silly man. And don’t forgive me for smirking, ’cause I do it every time I visit humor-blogs.com blogs.

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Chris non-C December 28, 2007 at 2:43 pm

I realize that I have not been around lately, but I am offended that I didn’t make the apology list by default!!!!! Now you’ve done it! Just for that, I am never going to go away again for any period of time…… There…….. that’ll teach you…… I’m doing it again aren’t I?……… Ok, I’ll come back later……sorry.

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Youthful One December 28, 2007 at 3:45 pm

“I don’t know about you, but I feel all pringly inside.”

YUM!

I LOVE Pringles!

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Chelle B. December 28, 2007 at 6:08 pm

You are an inspiration to all of us newer bloggers who haven’t learned the art of kissing up to potentially slighted readers!

I am taking notes… ;)

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Mimi Lenox December 28, 2007 at 6:45 pm

I humbly bow to your comma.

I don’t know how I got on this list but I thank you (I think….)

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RennyBA December 28, 2007 at 7:05 pm

Here is a little comma from Norway and since its my first visit, I’ll say hi too!

Great post – as a matter of facts you have a great blog – I’ll have to come back!

Thanks for the link love!

Wishing you a wonderful end to your week :-)

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don December 29, 2007 at 5:00 pm

You know Brent,

There are literally billions of people out there without internet access. How are you going to make it right by them?

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Creechman December 30, 2007 at 9:26 am

I just wanted to be the 54th little comma. And invite everyone over to my site to visit with Ana Ivanovic.

This site is good inspiration for irony or sarcasm, can’t figure out which.

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Sher December 30, 2007 at 7:54 pm

I love that you feel all pringly. I thought I was the only one.

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Deb on the Rocks December 30, 2007 at 11:09 pm

I no longer feel special. Sigh.

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Brent December 28, 2007 at 7:22 am

I always thought those were otters. My bad.

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Brent December 28, 2007 at 7:23 am

Oh, I will. You too.

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Debbie December 28, 2007 at 11:41 am

Operation “Blow Him Out of the Water” has been cancelled.

Yep Lynn, I’m confident Brent thinks we are a special pain in the booty!

Speaking of Dr. T, that is kind of a cute pic of him in today’s post/apology don’t you think? Ok, Ok, Lynn he is nothing but pure evil…EVIL…(with a cute pic every now and then…crap I did it again).

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Debbie December 28, 2007 at 11:46 am

Sorry Karen, he is mine! (As long as the next OC post does not zero in on his face and he turns out to be Carrot Top or something.)

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Brent December 29, 2007 at 11:39 am

Camille, the Hot Comma Momma, was very interested in the towel set and had almost auctioned me off, but I am still holding out for a slightly more flattering offer.

Plus, who would pay the shipping and handling?

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Youthful One December 28, 2007 at 3:55 pm

I noticed you were conspicuously missing from all the lists.

What’d you and the T-moose do this time?

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Lynn December 28, 2007 at 10:05 pm

Don’t worry Chris. He is suffering for his lack of vision right now. The good Dr. is seeing to that.

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Brent December 29, 2007 at 11:46 am

Chris,

Allow me to assist you with your confused priorities:

Jungles and bugs OR rampaging controversy at the Comma.

I know this is a tough one, but I am confident that you will make the right decision.

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RennyBA December 28, 2007 at 7:06 pm

I’ve noticed it before tonight on WP blogs: how come my blog site doesn’t link to my nickname?

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Brent December 28, 2007 at 9:30 pm

Thank you, RennyBA. Many comments come to rest at the Comma after flying south for the winter, but few have every made it from Norway.

Norwegian comments usually stopover in Amsterdam and soon forget where they were going.

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Brent December 28, 2007 at 7:21 pm

Did you enter you URL? WP is not quite as automated as other platforms.

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Karen December 28, 2007 at 8:44 pm

Ah, yeah Debbie? If he turns out to be Carrot Top he is ALL YOURS *shudder*

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Brent December 28, 2007 at 11:35 pm

Carrot Top is my stunt double. He does all the work, I do all the close ups.

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Brent December 28, 2007 at 9:31 pm

I do too. That’s how they got inside.

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Brent December 28, 2007 at 9:57 pm

By the smell of things, I would say that the doctor is once again occupied with his therapeutic aerobic program, Lie-Bo.

I don’t think you will have to worry about him until tomorrow. Unless of course, he has started another of his “showerless sabbaticals.”

In that case, fear is definitely in order.

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Brent December 28, 2007 at 9:58 pm

Please. Don’t encourage him.

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Lynn December 28, 2007 at 9:59 pm

You always have to watch out for the cute ones!

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Camille December 28, 2007 at 10:00 pm

Don’t start something you can’t keep up with. I know your feet are bad right now.

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Lynn December 28, 2007 at 10:03 pm

Drooling is only a sign that your salivary glands are working, not a determination of status.

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Brent December 29, 2007 at 11:41 am

John O.

You’re not just special, you’re distinguished.

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Brent December 28, 2007 at 10:05 pm

Frankly, it’s amazing how I’ve managed to life my entire life with this debilitating Y chromosome handicap.

Just lucky I guess.

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Brent December 28, 2007 at 10:11 pm

J,

How could I ever slight you, especially after all the nice things you said about me.

I am currently looking for filigreed paper and a suitable frame so I can hang a copy of them upon my wall, right in the center of my mirror collection.

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JMorris December 28, 2007 at 10:58 pm

Thinks to self…

Excellent! The turkey is ripe for the slaughter. With Dr. T, the egocentric inept fool as the “fall guy”, Brent as the charismatic face man to win over the masses, and with my evil genius, I shall rule the world! Muahahahaha! :twisted:

::strolls away nonchalantly whistling:: :wink:

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Brent December 28, 2007 at 11:19 pm

I prefer to call it aromatherapy, my dear.

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Brent December 28, 2007 at 11:24 pm

I often embarrass my kids with my lack of maturity as well. They especially like it when I launch into protracted fits of laughter over my own jokes.

They’re so serious.

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Brent December 29, 2007 at 11:33 am

Baby, you are the list. Everyone else is just there to keep you company.

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Brent December 29, 2007 at 11:34 am

Thanks.

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Brent December 29, 2007 at 11:42 am

Sold, for one million pringlies.

I hope you are prepared for the substantial tax burden that comes with author ownership.

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Brent December 29, 2007 at 12:16 pm

Chapter Thirteen

“When facing a large mob of offended readers, assume a calm and non-threatening attitude, typing in only the most conciliatory tones. But in doing so, ensure that under no circumstances you ever turn your back on the injured parties. And, no matter what you do, never ever show the slightest hint of fear, a moment’s hesitation of even the smallest typo may be all that is needed to send your fans into a kiling rag-

Nooooooooooo! Get off me. Oww! Mommy.”

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Brent December 29, 2007 at 6:39 pm

Well, your presence on the list does tip the balance more toward glorious, but there are also a couple hundred other people on it too, which might sway it back towards doom.

I mean, I’m even on it, and that can’t be a good sign.

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Brent December 29, 2007 at 6:41 pm

The honor is all mine.

But if you ask nicely, I might share some.

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Brent December 29, 2007 at 6:48 pm

I am thinking that posting an apology on large, satellite mounted readerboards should do the trick, as long as they are programed to rotate through hundreds of languages each hour.

Over the poorer countries I am going to include a message about how they can feed a hungry internet humorist for only a thousand rupees a day.

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Brent December 30, 2007 at 11:56 pm

Oh no, when it comes to that interior snack food feeling, you are in the best of company.

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Debbie December 31, 2007 at 10:17 am

Indeed!

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Debbie December 31, 2007 at 10:36 am

I can handle it.

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Debbie December 31, 2007 at 10:48 am

Very smart man, that JMorris.

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Debbie December 31, 2007 at 10:51 am

*CALLING CAMILLE*

Camille could you please school me on how to achieve this kind of success in husbandry?

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