Reports have been flooding in regarding Doctor Harold Toboggans’ appearance last night at the Memphis Zombie Massacre. Against all my fondest hope and sincerest wishes, the Doctor was not eaten, beaten, or even maimed by the undead hordes but instead seamed to find some common ground with those desperate souls.
Probably the thirst for blood, I’m guessing.
Although I have not run across his unpleasant presence here at the house, I know he must have been somewhere near because I’ve found what can only be a page from his diary.
Despite my better judgment and the real possibility of corrupting minors, I have posted it here for you to read:
At last I have found a group of individuals who are appreciative, if not actually worthy, of my substantial gifts and contributions to humanity.
Or unhumanity as seems to be the case.
These zombies, these undead wretches of former humanity, display suffering and pain and undisguised need on a scare I’ve scarcely seen.
It has stirred an unfamiliar sensation within me. It must be this compassion I have heard so much about.
Fortunately, I have a pill for that.
With my focus properly renewed, I noticed that these zombies seemed quite well dressed for being dead. It makes me wonder what other remnants of their former lives they might be persuaded to part with.
After all, what good are credit card numbers and trust funds when you are, in fact, deceased?
Hmmmmmm.
Poor zombies, they never saw it coming.
I found some more pictures and a video of the doctor’s exploits on my Flickr account. I don’t know how they got there but you should see them for yourself.
Also, you can see this program he is pitching at Zombies Anonymous.
Watch for further updates here and on the Doctor’s facebook page.
—update—
The Doctor weighs in with his opinion of the event over at
The adventures of Doctor Harold Toboggans.
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
What a horrific, unfeeling scourge! And zombies!
It’s as if Memphis didn’t have enough trouble with all the heat and humidity and turn-signal disabled drivers.
But Toboggans too? It’s really too much for one metropolitan area to take. We might have to start exporting tragedy to neighboring states.
You have some serious guts Brent! Love it!
WARNING:
Do not read about Dr. T and the Zombies right before bedtime like I did last night. You will have crazy crazy dreams!
Facing an endless line of moaning, blood-splattered faces after two weeks of sleep deprivation and a healthy dose of sinus medication is not recommended either.
It takes surreal to a new and exciting extreme.
I love zombie dreams! I’ll have to read some of this stuff this evening. I think my dreams are way more interesting than any zombie fiction ever produced,
I don’t mind zombie dreams as much as I do Zombie consciousness, when I stumble through work all day waiting to wake up.
I can’t imagine DR Tobboggans ‘corupting a minor’… the scale of that doesn’t sound right. Whats bigger than ‘corupting’…
Hmmmm, let’s see: brainwashing, infecting, distorting, cavorting, and in his case role-modeling. Yeah that ought to do it.
Speak of the disturbed, here is the good Doctor now, recorded live on Main street Memphis. There is a bit of carnage here, not really recommended for the faint of heart or shiftless of spleen.
- – - – -
I love it. I love it. I love it.
So, so funny.
Thank you.
Strictly my pleasure.
Perhaps I’ll get to met you at the Memphis blogger meetup next weekend.
Zombies. Zombies always seem to have anger issues. They should be happy they’re back. A chance to eat old friends. But no, they choose a cup half empty road…
I know, VE, it’s really quite tragic. Having been given a second chance at life…or unlife I guess…you’d think they’d at least be grateful.