In the face of suffering, hardships, and countless adversities the Comma clan and myself, its road-weary patriarch, have returned at last from the ill-fated TobogganSearch, to the malarial cheer of our Memphis headquarters.
The Ominous Comma’s Memphis Headquarters
The trauma of our ordeal has left me with large gaps in my memory, no doubt for my own protection, which has also left me at a loss to properly recount our adventures.
Fortunately, I seem to have kept a journal of our many travels and travails and using it, I will attempt to share with you in some small measure, the many joys and heartaches of the TobogganSearch experience:
Day 1 – Memphis Airport – Security
“After removing my shoes, belt, and random patches of skin, I was certified semi-naked enough to board the plane.
I’m not sure what this did for the security of the other passengers, but it left me feeling very liberated and a little drafty…”
Security is in the tear-filled eyes of the beholder
The First Flight – Memphis to Las Vegas – 1407 miles
“A most unremarkable journey which, due to the lateness of the hour, was punctuated mostly by snores and the occasional splatter of drool.
Doctor Toboggans was nowhere in evidence within the slim spaces between my eyes and their heavy lids.”
Interlude – Las Vegas Rental Car Station
“Even though we had left behind the airport and its many inspection stations, pastry security was still high. I have no doubt that any terrorist attempting to hijack a donut would be swiftly brought to justice.
New from the NSA – “HoneyBun” the Hungry Terrorist Trap
And even if he escaped this trap, he would undoubtedly be captured by plumbing authorities while attempting the unknown bodily function.
In fact, I’m surprised I haven’t been rounded up myself: these restrooms should come with a manual. But enough for now, I will update this journal as events unfold.”
With this much fun on the first day, just imagine the thrills in store for us all as the saga continues on Wednesday.1
- Whatever level of thrillage you just imagined, it was a lowball estimate compared to what is in store for you in the next jaw-dropping chapter of TobogganSearch. ↩