One thought that is never far from the minds of true Comma aficionados, ranking right behind “What are we having for dinner?” and “I wonder if I should have this looked at by a doctor?” is:
“Whatever can I do to show my undying love and support for The Ominous Comma?”
This is a deeply profound question, one that often leads to bouts of soul-searching, ethical self-examination, and has even been known to induce altered states of consciousness among those untrained in the philosophic arts.*
So in the interests of netwide mental stability I have dedicated an entire page of my webpire** for the sole purpose of guiding all such mediation upon this wondrous and many-faceted topic.
Using classified technology unwittingly on loan from the Department of Humor Security, I have been able to discover that many of you observe these posts from the safety of feed readers and email subscriptions. Today however is the time for all true believers to return to the Hollowed Grammatical Grounds of Your Comma and fully participate in this joyous page of celebration and unrestrained merriment.
Here it is, let’s get participating.
*The philosophic arts include: theoretical construction, deconstruction, reconstruction, redeconstruction, post-redeconstruction, and intoxication.
**Webire – noun:
1. A vast collection of internet holdings and estates, usually overseen by a benevolent individual of great wisdom and Authorship for the good of all humanity.
2. A judge or arbitrator appointed to settle disputes between webmasters, most often in matters of bandwidth, storage capacity, and the combat capabilities of Chuck Norris.
3. A lifesucking page or weblog featuring a parasitical level of sheer inanity almost always culminating in the measurable IQ reduction of readers. See lolcats.
I have great confidence in your ability to pick the right definition.