Persistence of Derision

by Brent on February 18, 2008

in Adventures of the Author

I had thought that this whole flap with Lobo would have blown over by now.

Being romantically linked to a pirate, I thought he would have walked the plank, or had his timbers shivered, or in some other way been thrown off my scent by now.

But no. Having tasted blood, specifically my blood, the wily web wolf refuses to relent.

He has blamed me for his ruined breakfast.

Breakfast

He has designed killer robots at me.

Photo Courtesy of Davidszondy.com

He has compared my bold and quite public persona to a collection of highly secretive cryptozoological characters.

bigfootridingnessie.jpg

Clearly he is a madman and he must be stopped. Or at the very least diverted, which is why I am inserting this conveniently placed link to the Smiling Infidel.

Because only someone foolish enough to hate on Huey Lewis would allow themselves to become embroiled in this fiasco.

Happy Monday

—–

Maybe he’ll be distracted by the stragglers from the herd over at humor-blogs.com

{ 45 comments… read them below or add one }

don February 18, 2008 at 9:33 pm

If I insult you in a humorously droll way can I get three days of full page referrals too?

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Bee February 18, 2008 at 9:40 pm

Don’t worry, that robot doesn’t look anything like the ones I’ve seen in real life. It might actually be fake.

Or, maybe that’s what he wants you to think.

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Alex L February 19, 2008 at 1:26 am

Nessie… she told me that she didnt let people ride her…

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elasticwaistbandlady February 19, 2008 at 8:05 am

I haven’t the slightest idea what any of this is about but I like the gratuitous link to me thrown into the middle of it!

I can’t wait to tell all my friends that I was prominently featured on The O.C. and that it really was more fun than a mayonnaise enema or hooking up with Adam Brody .

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Chris non-C February 19, 2008 at 11:56 am

I know I have an idea, somewhere in the back of my extremely tired mind, that would bring an end to all of this, but due to several insomnia laden nights I’m far too tired to bring forth a valid solution. (I think Lobo caused this) Therefore, Brent, I believe it is time to fire up the trebuchet and launch our tormentor deep into Idaho. (Why? You ask? Because that place is really boring.)

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Chris non-C February 19, 2008 at 11:57 am

Hey, where is Debbie? She hasn’t been around….

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Debbie Dolphin February 19, 2008 at 12:59 pm

Thankfully, I have escaped the wormhole of the Bermuda Triangle just in time to explore this mystery:

Are you and Lobo writing the plots of your secret novels,
 
“The Chronicles of Comma Colons” by CS Lobo

and

“The Punctuating Pirates of the Caribbean” by Brent Lewis??

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VE February 19, 2008 at 7:11 pm

That robot is terrifying by-the-way

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People in the Sun February 20, 2008 at 2:35 am

At this time of international upheaval, it’s important to maintain cordial relationship here on the virtual world of blogging. As the news reaching us for our neighbor to the South hint at a possible renewal of amiability in the Western continent, is it not the time to mend the fences between us, too?

Ominous Comma, LOBO, join me in song:

Hand in Hand we stand
All across the land
We can make this world
A better place in which to live

Hand in Hand we can
Start to understand
Breaking down the walls
That come between us for all time
Arirang

What in hades is Arirang?

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Lynn February 20, 2008 at 2:58 am

Lynn says, “I like punctuation! I like commas, quotation marks, and exclamation points!”

Take that you friend of a robot fiend!

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Mark February 20, 2008 at 12:48 pm

Lynn — what about the semicolon? Everyone always neglects the semicolon.

Brent — You should remember Lobo is an acronym for:
Limp Oddity, Bringer of Obscurity.

Good luck!

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don February 20, 2008 at 8:42 pm

Huh? What’s this about Idaho being boring?

Sorry I’m late, keep dropping in and out of hibernation.

Chris, Idaho is a land of majestic beauty. It a place where peol;’llf;fl;lf’;”””””’ sorry, just drifted off there for a second.

Anyway, I’ll get back to this later. I need a nap.

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PreposterousPonderings February 20, 2008 at 9:37 pm

I am not too sure I want to know why you were riding Nessie…

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Brent February 18, 2008 at 10:40 pm

How insulting.

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Brent February 18, 2008 at 10:41 pm

My lawyers will be linking you soon.

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Brent February 18, 2008 at 11:45 pm

How do we know this is really you and not a plant by the robot forces.

As a robot plant you would be in perfect position to spread disinformation, discontent, and cybernetic pollen.

I’m watching you.

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don February 18, 2008 at 11:53 pm

Once your lawyers get a look at my net worth, that threat will be moot.

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Brent February 19, 2008 at 12:19 am

I’ve always taken the threat of moot very seriously.

And I’ve given it back with utmost respect.

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Brent February 19, 2008 at 6:45 am

Looks like she was just trying to let you down easy.

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Brent February 19, 2008 at 12:15 pm

I was wondering that myself. Perhaps she is on urgent mystery-making business in the Bermuda Triangle.

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Brent February 19, 2008 at 12:19 pm

Don might see that as a violation of the strict Separation of Powers treaty. The one that all humor bloggers have to sign to get their magic funny dust.

You see, humor is a serious business. I could be de-dusted just for laughing at such a suggestion.

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Chris non-C February 19, 2008 at 12:26 pm

Is that your not-so polite way of telling me I am not funny? Sure… go ahead and pick on the sleepless guy. (could I have some magic funny dust?)

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Brent February 19, 2008 at 12:26 pm

This is about your willingness to devote yourself to lost causes, or in this case tossed clauses.

Just be sure to back a winner this time. Cough, cough. Huey. Perhaps I can pull some strings and get you in Land of Women Two: State of Emotion.

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Brent February 19, 2008 at 12:29 pm

Not at all. Just that there are powers that even we rouge agents must obey.

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Brent February 19, 2008 at 12:30 pm

Sure you can have some magic dust, I think Lobo found a whole dust civilization under his bed

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Chris non-C February 20, 2008 at 2:21 am

Sweet! Please tell me it induces sleep when first applied. If not, please pass the ball peen hammer………. and some cheesecake!

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Chris non-C February 20, 2008 at 2:23 am

Sorry double D, but we were actually talking about another Debbie. She’s the neurotic one with the weird jello phobia.

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Brent February 20, 2008 at 9:26 pm

But I would love to read those volumes.

And their inevitable screenplays.

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Chris non-C February 20, 2008 at 2:28 am

Actually, that is just a zoomed out picture of Brent’s toaster after his failed casting call on Mystery Science Theater (something) thousand.(too freaking tired) You can still see the post-it note on the front stamped rejected.

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Lynn February 20, 2008 at 2:56 am

Debbie,
You are making my squirrel cry. Please come back.

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Brent February 20, 2008 at 9:03 pm

Get some coffee, Don.

They do have Starbucks out there don’t they?

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Chris non-C February 21, 2008 at 10:49 am

Oh sure… make fun of the defenseless insomniac. But I think that it only proves that I’m right. Idaho is so boring that it can induce sleepiness.

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Brent February 20, 2008 at 9:08 pm

I pay close attention to my semi-colon, it’s right where I left it at the end of my quasi-intestines.

I am concerned about this “Bringer of Obscurity” thing. How obscure? Are we talking negative stats? People traveling back in time to prevent themselves form reading this blog?

Are Bill and Ted somehow involved?

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Brent February 20, 2008 at 9:14 pm

Because everyone knows that robots are intimidated by punctuation.

As long is it correctly used. Text message grammar will get you killed without a second thought.

Or even a first one.

It’s not that they are evil, killer robots are just wired that way.

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Brent February 20, 2008 at 9:24 pm

I’ll sing along just as soon I am awarded my gold medal.

And Lobo receives his Aluminum Pull Tab of “Nice Try, Slacker.”

Play hard or go home I always say.

Of course, I usually say it from home.

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Brent February 20, 2008 at 9:31 pm

I thought that was his monstrous metallic tongue issuing the na-na-boo-boo of Certain Death.

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Brent February 20, 2008 at 11:42 pm

Synchronized swimming. hello!

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Lynn February 21, 2008 at 2:36 am

I thought it was na-na-na-na-boo-boo.

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Lynn February 21, 2008 at 2:37 am

Just so long as Captain Kirk stays out of it!

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Lynn February 21, 2008 at 2:38 am

Or at least some kind of an excuse for a coffee shop serving soupy looking coffee?

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Lynn February 21, 2008 at 2:40 am

Who was your partner, Godzilla? I could see the likeness. You two would sychronize well I think.

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Brent February 21, 2008 at 10:12 am

Did it just get colder in here?

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Brent February 21, 2008 at 10:13 am

Cup O Noodle R Us & Co.

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Brent February 21, 2008 at 10:15 am

I don’t think he get out of his captain’s chair much these days.

Unless of course he gets beamed out.

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Lynn February 22, 2008 at 1:11 am

Well, you weren’t riding Nessie in the kiddie pool.

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