I have decided that I want to be a part time celebrity.
I want the fame, recognition, and generous paychecks that come with worldwide acclaim, without the paparazzi and crowds of well-wishers besieging my yard, steaming up my windows with their poorly-held breath.
You see, I’ve come to realize that the real problem with having a massive world-wide fan base is how often they get underfoot.
I mean, it’s great for people to come out in droves to try to get an autographed high school portrait and generally validate me as a living internet resource, but what do I do with my public once they’ve served their purpose?
Fortunately, Comma Girl pointed out the solution to me.
I know it’s going to be crowded, but no pushing in there.