Often, people inquire of me as to the origin of my awe-inspiring, yet manly Banner of Ultimate Ominousness.
They say, “Dude, who did your banner?”
Which I think is rather insulting. Why do these individual automatically think that I am incapable of such feats of banner creation and artistic splendor?
Of course I am incapable of such feats of banner creation and artistic splendor, but there is no need to assume that from the beginning. After all, I have managed to secure it up at the top of the page successfully and without incident or injury. At least so far.
In fact, there have been 0 lost time accidents due to falling banners at this site.
Anyway to dig the point out from under this sudden mass of free association, Danger Dan, author and creator of the Ominous Banner, is now accepting new projects.
This is a major happening. Long have the web-needy masses yearned for this day, when hope would return for the beautification of the greatly-neglected webosphere.
Much like Willy Wanka, Dan has been frequently absorbed by his work, isolated from his admirers by his lonely dedication to his art, and frequently surrounded by sweaty oompa loompas.
But he is undergoing treatment for that last part and it in no way interferes with creative genius.
So if you are in need of some masterful web design or graphics work, contact Dan(at)greenbeetlestudio.com
In a late breaking development, Bodacious Bryan Rumfola has joined forces with Dan at team GreenBeetleStudio.com for an action packed, two-fisted dose of design domination.
Just imagine how your creativity and credibility will soar with a full 50% of the Danger Couch team working on your project.12 If you can’t imagine that, you need immediate creative infusion and have not a moment to lose, e-mail GreenBeetleStudio.com immediately.
Although the talent level of Bryan and Dan pegs all the meters, their time is limited to the meager twenty-four a day hours allotted to us all, so act now while they still has work hours available.
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Chronic Over Seriousness is a real health threat to you and your loved ones. Don’t be a victim, subscribe to the Ominous Comma today.
- The only way to get the full 100% of Team Couch working on your project would be to be Danger Couch, and even then you’d have to wake a couple of them up. «
- I really cannot, in good conscious, recommend being Danger Couch. Long hours, hot lights, excessive exposure to plaid: it’s worse than the Rockford Files. «
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
Plaid? You’ve gone plaid? Does that mean you’ve hit ludicrous speed? You really should slow down, I read somewhere that, that much exposure to plaid can cause your hair to migrate to your face in a tragic pork chop formation, an increase in waist size and tooth decay. Be careful. You should try a leisure suit, it still causes hair loss, but it makes your teeth appear much whiter. And Brent, nothing is worse than the Rockford Files.
I am constantly in awe of your mighty banner, Mr. Brent.
I don’t know how you can say that. The Rockford Files is classic TV. It is in the same league as Hawaii Five O. And what about Dragnet. I suppose you are against Friday too! Communists!
I agree with Anon. Friday is amazing. What is your problem with the Rockford Files. That intro is off the chart.
Ok everybody,
There is a new threat to our planet. He goes by Boris. You need to read comment 138. Boris must go!
That would be 138 under “Author Aflutter at Imminent Review.”
See for yourself, he really must go.
Okay, I have to agree with the people I agree with — Rockford Files is classic tv.
See, that’s what I’m talking about.
I’m thinking of a Danger Couch spinoff called the Ruckford Files. I would need a classic car though.
Chris,
We have left ludicrous speed far behind. If we continue our current level of acceleration we will go to paisley.
Paisley? SWEET!
who’s Willy Wanka?
He is a second rate knock-off of Willy Wonka.
He sells cheep imported candies, made mostly of melamine, and makes most of his money trafficking in second hand Oompa Loompas.
He really is a despicable creature, I don’t know why Dan would take after him.
So, would your friend also work for chocolate? I would love a banner, but I only pay in chocolate…..or bitch slaps.
Unlike myself, he actually has a business “for pay” and I’m sure would be expecting some more spendable form of currency. The last time I tried to pay with slappage he gave me back change in karate chops.
Unfortunately, he doesn’t really know karate and I was more severely injured by laughing than if he had actually landed a blow.
Was that a challenge?!?
I am just starting to feel better, I don’t know if my ribcage could handle the effects of further combat.