We are exactly 56 days into the raging torrent of mirth know as the Ominous Comma and already I have decided to sell out my meager allotment of artistic integrity and virtual street credibility for improved ratings.
Shhhh…I’m listening for mouse clicks.
(Sometimes a bold statement like this, will itself be enough to dislodge a landslide of free publicity.)
Okay, I’m not really selling out, but I am changing my tagline / subtitle-thingy to try to improve search engine results.
Whereas the phrase, “an accidentally insightful exploration of life and related activities” is still quite accurate, it makes no mention of this site’s primary contribution to the webcology, which I hope is humor.1
Many people have stumbled across this blog due to my carefully implemented Search Engine Optimization strategy of accidental discovery. Some of the more unlikely search strings include, “Cambodian farming,” “Gastrology doctor,” and “captain life married exists comma.” But I can find no evidence of anyone searching for “humor,” “funny,” or even “comically brilliant creative genius expressions of writing talent” and ending up at this site. So I thought that perhaps if I actually put the word humor into my tagline, more of the Comma deprived masses might find shelter on these comforting shores.2
Of course, I may fail in this effort of selfless self-promotion but a least I will fail a free man, liberated from the shackles of…my first descripta-phrase thing.
As of tomorrow, my new tagline will read, “containing the maximum humor allowed by law.” And for those inquisitive souls already pondering what law could possibly regulate internet humor content. I have conveniently posted it for you right here:
Federal Statute 625a subparagraph 12
No blog, website, or other publication, electronic or print, shall display content containing more than 999,998 part per million of comedy, humor or hilarity. Humor providers shall ensure adequate pauses in the form of non-humorous content to comprise a minimum of .000002% of total volume to provide sufficient allowance for audience breathing and other bodily functions.
So the next time you see your congressperson, governor, or warden, please remind him or her that this site is still within legal limits, although just barely.
- I have also been informed that the creative output found here is quite useful in horticulture. One individual put it this way “…this site is so full of (fertilizer) that your banner’s brown!” Such frank assessments of viewer value warm my heart and bring tears to my eyes, much like a jalapeno milkshake. ↩
- No lifeguard on duty, no diving. Comforting hours: 8am-8pm. ↩