No matter how perfect your relationship or with what joy your originally entered it, there comes a time in every romantic pairing when your mate ceases to be content with the “you” that he or she has acquired and begins leaving subtle hints as to how, with some small effort on your part, his or her relationship experience can be improved.
Okay, who am I kidding here? There is no “his or her” in this sort of thing.
There’s only “her.”
That’s right, in any relationship change is always initiated, reinitiated, and re-reinitiated by the woman.
Whereas men are generally interested in maintaining the status quo in terms of diet, wardrobe, and their woman’s figure; women are notorious for their poorly contained need to customize, optimize, and install endless upgrades to their man’s perfectly satisfactory collection of standard features.
Even a woman as intelligent, discerning, and radiantly beautiful as the Hot Comma Momma is not above leaving the occasional hint or two for an author of ultimate manliness much like myself. 1
My most recently received “suggestion” looked like this.
Now I feel that I am open to a certain amount of constructive criticism, take for instance how well I handled my wife’s hint that the best way to inform future archeologist as to the quality of our domestic bliss2 was probably not through blanketing the floor with multiple strata layers of dirty clothing.
But when these innocent suggestions presume to question my quest for self-javafication, the matter takes on a darker, more over-roasted flavor. One with a complex bouquet of angst, futility, and just a hint of nutmeg.
It is precisely these sort of issues that must be addressed before they can wreak havoc on both your relationship and your brain chemistry.
http://www.vimeo.com/3791212Consider the matter closed. I do.
Happy Weekend everyone.
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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
Quick! Drink a glass of hot water and a shot of milk before the “Hummingbird Effect” kicks in!
That was quite the mouthful of coffee there. You sir, are a better man than I…then again, so are a lot Girl Scouts, but that’s neither hear nor there.
Wasn’t there a part in that old movie ‘Rosemary’s baby’ where Mia Farrow desperately needed coffee and was drinking/eating it very similarly to what you just demonstrated?
She too was possessed.
:)
~ZZ (Caffinated)
Folders?!!!!!! Allow me to express my indignation with your choice of brands. Such a discerning and unhinged, uhmm, I mean, uncompromising author should only be fueled by Starbucks Espresso Roast or assorted South American specialty roasts. I wont even bother to mention the sin of “1/2 caff”! Camille, you must act quickly! Get to your closest store and get as many bags as you can, use a coffee press and an IV to begin his rapid recovery before the very fabric of the OC unravels! Then go get him a gym membership………..
You held that together nicely, you know if you can get your hands on some plasma and mix some caffiene in with it. And bam inject it straight into the vein…
LOBO -Ttoooooo Lateee…Appppppproaching ludicrrrrous speeeeeedeeee.
Raymond Betancourt -Thank you sir. When it come to girls scouts I don’t give them any trouble either, I just hand over my money and hope for some cookie crumbs.
Greeneyezz -Anything sounds bad when you say it with that attitude.
Chris non-C -I hate to say this, but Camille is not playing for our team on this one. She has defected to decaff side. (shudder)
Alex L -I keep that precise mixture stored in dozens of ready-to-go syringes which I carry everywhere in bandoleers draped snugly across my chest. My heart beats just a bit faster just knowing they are so near.
Please tell me you did that in one take!
I have two words for you that should end your coffee obsession: coffee breath
(Stink!!)
Wow that Brent sure is an intelligent one, too bad his breath smells of repugnant poo.
Wow that Brent is a great husband and father, too bad his breath reeks of a malodorous stench.
Wow that Brent sure is handsome, but his breath smells like dried buffalo dung.
Am I helping?
(BTW, Happy Birthday! Sorry I’m late. My birthday was yesterday. I still have 3 more years until I am as old and decrepit as you are…)
They should make a caffeine patch. I would totally wear one! Love the video.
Debbie ~Two takes, I’m afraid. And no you’re not really helping -that’s why we have breath mints. (If you like I could take a three years break from aging and let you catch up)
Leeuna -I would wear two. On each arm. Glad you liked it.
I’m a HUGE coffee fan too! And I will have to say I find Folgers just fine. Easily accessible, with a wallet friendly price-point, and it does the trick, it pumps caffeine through my veins. So, we’re a perfect couple, me and my Folgers.
And, I’ll tell you who you reminded me of……Bill Murray in Ground Hog’s Day when he picks up the supposedly hot pot of coffee and just starts downing it! That scene cracks me up every time! HUH-LARRY-US!
Dan wouldn’t even think of separating me from the coffee that keeps me going. And, let’s just say, that if he did, I’d have a nice shiny ice-pick to introduce to his jugular!
I prefer more exotic coffee but Folgers will do just fine, especially if i’m working on a Saturday :)
Carrie -Have you ever stared at a cup of coffee? Wondered at its complexity? Gazed at its beauty? Me neither. And Bill Murray is the man. Possibly several.
custom -The best variety of coffee is always the one that it is in your cup – long may it be refilled.
Ok, I’m working feverishly on a paper that is due tomorrow, but when your comment came in, I had to stop back here and comment.
I may not have stared at my coffee while contemplating its complexity and gazing mezmorized by it’s beauty, *but* I have likened it at times to a mildly orgasmic experience. That’s usually the first cup of my day. What a way to start the morning, eh??
Also, put a Grande Mocha-chino w/ a double shot of espresso in my hands (and whip cream on top), and point me in the direction of a large DSW Shoe Store, and I can go to town! There’s something about indulging in a great tasting coffee while being immersed in rows and rows of women’s shoes that seems so decadent. :)
OK, back to writing this 10 pager. ugh!
~Mrs.JuanVeldeZZ
;)
This is awesome, love the video ;D This and Watching Anime Onlinesure gives a nice saturday evening :D
Greeneyez -You have inspired me with a truly brilliant business idea: Latte-in-a-Shoe. Order your favorite java-nated beverage and sip it from a unique collectible and wearable woman’s shoe. Of course it would a one size fits all kind of thing and you would have to buy two drinks to get a pair of shoes, but from a marketing perspective, amazing.
Jonas -The beauty of coffee is that it can give you a nice evening even in the morning.
haha i liked it :)