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No matter how perfect your relationship or with what joy your originally entered it, there comes a time in every romantic pairing when your mate ceases to be content with the “you” that he or she has acquired and begins leaving subtle hints as to how, with some small effort on your part, his or her relationship experience can be improved.

Okay, who am I kidding here? There is no “his or her” in this sort of thing.

There’s only “her.”

That’s right, in any relationship change is always initiated, reinitiated, and re-reinitiated by the woman.

Whereas men are generally interested in maintaining the status quo in terms of diet, wardrobe, and their woman’s figure; women are notorious for their poorly contained need to customize, optimize, and install endless upgrades to their man’s perfectly satisfactory collection of standard features.

Even a woman as intelligent, discerning, and radiantly beautiful as the Hot Comma Momma is not above leaving the occasional hint or two for an author of ultimate manliness much like myself. 1

My most recently received “suggestion” looked like this.

the hint

Now I feel that I am open to a certain amount of constructive criticism, take for instance how well I handled my wife’s hint that the best way to inform future archeologist as to the quality of our domestic bliss2 was probably not through blanketing the floor with multiple strata layers of dirty clothing.

But when these innocent suggestions presume to question my quest for self-javafication, the matter takes on a darker, more over-roasted flavor. One with a complex bouquet of angst, futility, and just a hint of nutmeg.

It is precisely these sort of issues that must be addressed before they can wreak havoc on both your relationship and your brain chemistry.

Consider the matter closed. I do.

Happy Weekend everyone.

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  1. Okay, exactly like myself.
  2. Allow me to point out for the foolhardy and the novice that domestic bliss is not only far superior in quality and availability to imports, it also costs much less in the way of alimony and emotional anguish.