Trans-Siberian Orchestra

So there I was at the FedEx Forum, taking in the overwhelming spectacle of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Guitars were blazing, lasers were beaming, and the motorized lighting rig was mutating into every single spaceship from every single science fiction show of my entire childhood.

And then, in an awed silence between guitar licks I heard it. From the back of the crowded auditorium a woman cried out from the deepest anguish of her heart:



Does this sort of thing happen where you live?  Or is this sort of cultural refinement confined to the enigma that is Memphis?

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16 Responses to Trans-Siberian Orchestra

  1. Youthful One says:


    I had to go look up the Fedex Forum.
    I thought it was an online discussion board in which I, too, could take in the overwhelming spectacle of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. I was hoping I could hear for myself this refined Memphite woman of which you wrote.


    I hope you had an enjoyable evening despite the unavoidable redneck or two… hundred… and fifty-seven.

  2. Brent says:

    Sorry about that. I’ve been trying to bring a little hometown flavor to this blog and I haven’t let a little thing like my complete lack of experience stop me.

    I have now added a nice link that explains the money-pit….structure to which I refer so that no one else will go astray. I can’t have that on my conscious, or my website for that matter.

  3. Elle says:

    I once got a free ticket to Celine Dion at Madison Square Garden – even there, these dolts screamed requests through all of her songs. I wish I could bring a tranq. gun to these sorts of things.

  4. Lord knows, she can’t chay ay ay ay yunnggge.

    Seriously, every time I hear “Trans Siberian Orchestra”, I think of thousands of string and woodwind players, arms outstretched, holding hands, across the vast Russian motherland. Sort of like “Hands Across America”, but with instuments.

  5. Marti says:

    OMG – too funny!

    Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year!

  6. Chris non-C says:

    Uhm…….. That’s pretty much a southern problem in general. It might be a hereditary condition like Lupis or frequents nose bleeds. Apparently, there is no cure except geographical relocation……. or some duct tape.

  7. Greeneyezz says:

    Ya know, as I was reading that I was thinking “Yes Yes Yes! I’ve seen TSO twice before and absolutely Loved it each time!” (I’ve got 3 of their CDs).
    And then I read the part about the woman screaming “Freebiiiiiirrrrrrd!!!!” and I think, damn, either she gets around or she has some relatives who live in the North.
    And I had to laugh because just reading that word brought back many memories for me, some of which included me recalling my own screaming of that, but I think my memory included a bic lighter being lit.
    (Talk about progress…they use the backlight of Cell phones now!) :)

    Anyway Brent, I want to wish you, your wife Camille and your daughter a Very Merry Christmas, and may the New Year bring Peace, Joy, and Love the whole year round.


  8. Debbie says:

    We should attend a Lynyrd Skynyrd (spelling?) concert and yell, “Beethoven!!!!!!!!!!!!”

  9. Chris non-C says:

    I didn’t know Skynard had spelling concerts….. doesn’t sound like much fun.

  10. Debbie says:

    “Skynard” Chris? I think maybe you should attend one of the spelling concerts.

    BTW, Merry Christmas!

  11. Chris non-C says:

    Can’t get one past you can I? Merry Christmas to you, too Deb!

  12. Brent says:

    Elle -I’m not a big Celine fan, So of course I’m thinking that the traq gun is a great idea for everyone involved. And if you see me there, give me a double.

    Doug -I think it’s a very poetic name, but I still occasionally visualize a horde of people with drum-machines and glow sticks looking for a power outlet in the tundra.

    Marti -Thank you and Merry Christmas to you as well. I f I can move to more comedic location for your entertainment, just let me know.

    Chris non-CTrebuchet or duct-tape. Sounds like you and Doctor T have this situation under control.

    Greeneyezz -Thank you and Merry Christmas to you too. And many more happily bic-lit concerts to you as well. (Watch the hair, it’s flammable you know.)

    Debbie and Chris
    -If there were a spelling concert, I would be badly out of tune.

  13. ScottL says:

    Brent, I can only imagine you busted out laughing. Well, maybe 90% of the audience did. This story made me chuckle.

  14. That is so funny! I love your site site because it makes me laugh. Keep it up. Happy New Year to all!

  15. Brent says:

    ScottL -I was too surprised to laugh at the time, it was like a twilight zone moment. Kind of scary actually.

    Gary -You say say the sweetest things. Top of the New Year to you too.

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