There are many reasons why you might want to contact the cunning and impressively modest author of The Ominous Comma: to praise his genius, demand payment for an overdue library book, or request permission to name your first born child after him.
You may also have a question that you wish to Ask The Author.
It’s possible that you may even desire to Ask Doctor Toboggans something. But we wouldn’t recommend it.
You can also request a complimentary Berating of Character Faults from our staff of derogatorial professionals.
But whatever brings you here, it is clearly a sign of desperation. And we find that quite charming in a reader.