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TobboganSeach – Part 3

The story so far:

Led astray by the cute and convincing Comma Girl, I hauled my family cross country in a bold humanitarian effort to find Doctor Harold Toboggans.1

The Charming Culprit

After a long journey and a diligent search, I must have been ready to call off the whole thing off. To tell the truth I can’t really remember, which is why I’m quoting from my conveniently discovered travel journal.

Moment of Truth – Reno

“After a careful week long search of most every place unlikely to be visited by the Doctor, it was time to admit failure and return home. I must have admitted it rather loudly because several bystanders repeatedly interrupted my dance of joy to ask if I required medical attention.”

Road trip – Reno to Las Vegas – 451 miles

“Special effort was made to find and use restroom facilities overlooked on our previous journey in order not only to grace a larger area of Nevada with our waste products but also to commemorate Highway 95: The Peeingest Road in America.”

Interlude – Las Vegas Airport

“After a full twenty-four hours of bumped flights, I began to suspect the foul influence of Doctor Toboggans.

As I was stretching out in preparation of a long cross county hike, some seats opened up and we left just minutes ahead of the Doctor’s murderous and tackily attired agents of evil.

Return Flight – Las Vegas to Memphis – 1407 miles

(For British readers, that’s 2264.347008 km, or over 4 times the width of the entre Kingdom.)

“I kept a sharp lookout but even though I thought I spotted the doctor briefly over Phoenix, the only real evidence I encountered was the massive accumulation of hot air we passed in flight.”

Arrival – Memphis

“Never was I as pleased to scent the foul miasma of Memphis, as when we finally arrived home after our many suffering and were able once again to take in the panoramic view of our fair city.”

Thus concludes the tragic tale of TobogganSearch – The Quest for Suffering. Even though it has ended, it is not too late to subscribe to the Comma in a reader or by email .

  1. Although the humanity of Doctor Toboggans is an unresolved question, an unfortunate malfunction in my CoinOMatic TM literary fabricator leaves me stuck with this less than accurate term.