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Zombies, Memphis, and Toboggans

On May 28th at precisely 6:32 pm, the normally quiet streets of downtown Memphis erupted into the flagrant flurry of festering flesh that is the annual Memphis Zombie Massacre.

The roads ran red with corn syrup as the undead participants faced a horror worse than their own potent halitosis…the sickening specter of Doctor Harold Toboggans.

Ever conscientious to cash, the Doctor dedicated himself to separating the recently reanimated from their money.

Joining Zombies Anonymous and Cerebitol AZ in the lineup of dubious products offered by Toboggans this year was the brand-new Zombait zombie distractant. (video to come)

For further accounts of this heart-rending event be sure to check out scribblescrawl, TheoGeo, Zach Breaux as well as the flickr photo pool and the Doctor’s own Facebook album.

Cerebitol AZ – Anti Zombie Patch

Sometimes incredible just isn’t good enough.

Last May, when the revolutionary Zombies Anonymous program was introduced, it was met with rave reviews and hundreds of overjoyed customers.

Dr Toboggans and patient

But Doctor Harold Toboggans wasn’t satisfied.

He knew that there must be something more, something that he and the dedicated staff at Toboggans Industries could do to relieve those reanimated wretches from their undead suffering and unspent cash.

He thought deeply

He released directives and commissioned programs.

He reorganized the corporation, refinanced the lab, and refolded his socks.

And then, after nearly a full day of grueling research and untold minutes of clinical trials, Doctor Toboggans introduced Cerebitol AZ – the ultimate topical application anti-zombitory patch.

Anti Zombie Patch Box

Cerebitol AZ – Anti Zombie Patch

Made from synthetic neurotransmitters and genuine cranial extracts, Cerebitol AZ offers unprecedented 12 hour freedom from the symptoms of zombieism.

With Cerebitol AZ you can:

  • Control your craving for brains
  • Cut down on between meal snacking
  • Gain relief from the discomfort of Chronic Deceased Syndrome

Don’t believe it? We don’t blame you, but see for yourself as Doctor Toboggans demonstrates Cerebitol AZ on the undead citizens of Memphis.

Anti Zombie Patch

With the combined power of Cerebitol AZ and Zombies Anonymous, not to mention the limitless genius of  Doctor Harold Toboggans, you can at last leave your lurching lust for human tissue behind.

Only from Toboggans Industries – Life Improvement for the Success Deficient.

Comma Caption Contest – Safety First

Hello Friends. I’m still getting caught up from all the zombie stuff and working on some exciting news I’m not ready to share just yet, so I thought I would throw a Caption Contest, my first since my graduation about a year ago.

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The rules are simple: enter your best line in the comment box, as many separate entries as you like, and the Hot Comma Momma will pick out several finalists for us all to vote on next week.

I know this is normally Diesel’s gig but he is gracious enough to let me borrow it from time to time as long as it’s fueled up and vacuumed out when I bring it back.

Get cracking. And be sure to wait by the feedreader for my soon-to-be-released urgent announcement of great joy.