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Chicago- Dynateknomatic CEO, Lance Corpuscle, resigned yesterday after holding the job for a little over forty-five minutes. He is scheduled to receive a $210 million severance package for what a Dynateknomatic spokesman called â€œhis long commitment to this company.â€
In a prepared statement this morning Corpuscle said â€œEven before I took the job, I was committed to the goals, traditions and large executive compensations of this company. It is truly a leader in its chosen field of doing whatever it is that it doesâ€
In response to critics who contend that Corpuscle never executed anything during his brief tenure at the company, Dynateknomatic released a statement as well, stating that â€œA CEOâ€™s very presence at a company emits strong leadership, lulls investors, and calms troubled markets. In this capacity, Mr. Corpuscle has added substantial value to this company.â€
Corpuscleâ€™s departure follows the two week reign of previous chief executive, John Capital. He will be replaced by James Newwhipple, current VP in charge of government subsidies. Newwhipple has also released a statement stating that his first task as CEO will be to track down where all the prepared statements go after being released, and also to discover the source of Dynateknomaticâ€™s record-setting unprofitably.
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