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Webster’s To Reclassify ‘Nuclear’ As Two Syllable Word

Cleveland- Dictionary publisher Webster’s Inc. today announced that it will reclassify ‘nuclear’ as a two syllable word. Company owner, John Q. Webster, great grandson of original dictionary author Nathaniel Webster, said that the move was “natural and logical, in keeping with popular usage, and in no way connected with the large number of armed men occupying our office…”

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Cleveland- Dictionary publisher Webster’s Inc. today announced that it will reclassify ‘nuclear’ as a two syllable word. Company owner, John Q. Webster, great grandson of original dictionary author Nathaniel Webster, said that the move was “natural and logical, in keeping with popular usage, and in no way connected with the large number of armed men occupying our office.”

When asked about extensive homeland security investigations and warrantless wiretaps aimed at the company in recent months, White House officials said that although they could not give specifics, they were following definite connections with al-Quaeda, Weight Watchers and other terrorist organizations and that any intimidating effects felt by Webster’s were purely coincidental.

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10 replies on “Webster’s To Reclassify ‘Nuclear’ As Two Syllable Word”

I think PetSmart is also on the terrorist list, but Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff released a statement clarifying the warrantless wiretaps were not a breach of civil rights because the store caters to the cute and furry American population.

OK, with some sleep and some coffee I get it now. Sometimes I can be a little obtuse.

It left me with a thought…our language is being “hi-jacked” in a way. Meanings are less precise, and thus ideas are less precise. Soon, we will hardly be able to communicate at all.

Dana, you are so right. The lack of real communication is appalling. Reverse progress is the order of the day.

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