Recently I was accused of being droll.
Not this blog mind you, or even the various characters and personas I have populated it with, but me, my very own personal self.
Droll.
If there is anything that gets my dander up and marching around,1 it’s being labeled with terms so offensive, so clearly and blatantly derogatory that even I don’t know what they mean.
So in spite of strict vows intellectual pacifism, I undertook the most strenuous research methods at my disposal to fathom the enigmatic mystery known as droll.
After several second of diligent mousework I wiped the sweat from my wrist and basked in the glow of discovery.2 After a brief post-investigative nap, I read through the symptoms as presented by the vocabulary professionals of Dictionary.com:
Droll -adjective. amusing in an odd way; whimsical; waggish.
Could it be? Was it possible that The Ominous Comma and myself its erstwhile creator were in fact suffering from the insidious effects of droll humor?
So severe were the consequences of this implication that I sought out a second opinion, and after a couple more clicks of grueling research the lexiconary specialists at Wikipedia confirmed the diagnosis:
Droll Humor -an often dry, witty form of humor that elicits laughs through amusingly odd, sometimes zany behavior or speech.
They those same experts went to on to illustrate the sufferings of well known victims like Steven Wright and John Cleese, never once hinting at a cure.
I was stunned. I didn’t know how to live with such self-knowledge, or myself after having discovered it. My only hope lay with the experimental psychological research of the late Doctor Harold Toboggans3whose cutting-edge Third Person Repressionary Hypnosis therapy I hoped would give me my one shot at pulling through this crisis without permanent damage.
Snatching at the fragments of memory, I hastily assembled my best approximation of the Doctor’s radical self-programming technique.
I helped myself to several cleansing breaths and a shot of scrubbing bubbles. Then as I gazed convincingly into the mirror, I began the chant:
“Brent Diggs has droll humor – Brent Diggs is droll.”
The moral of the story I began to realize–
“Brent Diggs has droll humor – Brent Diggs is droll.”
Is that any time you set out upon a voyage of self discovery-
“Brent Diggs has droll humor – Brent Diggs is droll.”
Be sure to thoroughly check your itinerary.
“Brent Diggs is…”
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- After years of clinical research it is still unclear what role dander plays in the rageification process, but experts agree that it should definitely get top billing. ↩
- For extended basking I recommend Toboggans Industries Discovery Screen made with actual pieces of ignorance to filter and protect your delicate tissues from the ravages of eureka-band radiation. ↩
- I don’t know for sure that he is dead, but whatever state he’s in, he is very, very tardy to several counseling appointments. ↩
Now dear, I thought we talked about this. Making drama when there is none is well…dramatic. Let’s use our non drama voices please.
now what’s wrong with being “droll”? really…it could have been much worse!
Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’d love to see what happens to your “droll” when you’re high–I mean, if you were ever to get high. Does it turn to “silly”?
Dammit Brent, stop being so much funnier than me.
“an often dry, witty form of humor that elicits laughs through amusingly odd, sometimes zany behavior or speech.” Aside from the dry part it sounds like Jim Carey…..I’d take that as a compliment!
Droll? Hardly Brent. Get it out of your mind.
Jocular? Certainly.
Risible? Quite so.
Even frolicsome?
Well, lets not get too facetious here.
Well at least its not Troll humor, whoa those guys are some weird cats when it comes to comedy.
oh yeah Bam
your challenge has been completed by me anyway, do I get a prize for being first.
Droll? Well it could have been drool….. I suppose dry wit is better than wet spittle on someones chin.
All together now, eeeeewwww…….
I thought you had to be British in order to be droll. We Americans aren’t sophisticated enough to achieve drollness, drolldom, drollocity, whatever you call it. That’s why John Cleese is droll but Steven Wright is wacky.
One my daughters calls me silly.
Let’s just see if she can find her way home this time!
Way too much attitude for a 4 year old…
One time I was accused of being Dave Grohl, but that’s because I had shaved in a while and I was singing for the Foo Fighters at the time.
A droll with a degree…now that is scary!
I say its better to be compared to Jim Carrey than Tom Green (drunk college kids used to mistake me for him). Jim Carrey has been with a number of beautiful and talented actress. Outside of Drew Barrymore, all Tom Green got were cow nipples.
Take that for what its worth.
I think the person said “I like your doll” not “I think you’re droll”. You should listen more carefully.
I’ll think you’re droll if it will make you feel better. I just posted that ‘challenge’ you started….and I’m not even a humor-blog member (ok, I am but I’m too stubborn to actually participate in all that ranking hoopala).
Congratulations on the droll affliction!! You should get a shirt that says something like, “Careful, I have the droll.”
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Hey, let’s watch the language little commas. My kids read this:)
I admire your use of asterisks. And I have to agree with Brad Shorr. Americans haven’t learned the art of droll. We can, however, be brash, crass, and loud. Sort of the opposite of droll, unfortunately.
Droll is good, Brent. If you read between the lines, the definition really says:
So amusingly funny and so wittily delivered by one so admirably clever that while the audience is reeling in laughter, the droller merely continues acting drolly, unselfishly using this time concocting ways to be even more droll than before.
Isn’t that so you?
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:-O Oh my I just got “Brent Drolled”…..**as she leaves this hilarious blog of a droll**..
lol
Whatever you’re labeled..keep it up because it works and we love it!
Oh my goodness! Impressive article dude! Many thanks, However I am going through problems with your RSS. I don’t know why I cannot subscribe to it. Is there anyone else getting similar RSS issues? Anyone who knows the solution can you kindly respond? Thanks!!
Dammit on closer inspection people have beaten me to the punch, serves me right for going off halfcocked. Always be fullcocked thats some more advice free of charge.
I have an incurable disease, is that dramatic enough for you?
According to my kids, I never really leave silly.
They are so painfully cool that I am an embarrassment to them.
Sorry Jeff, I’ll be on my best behavior from now on.
So you’re part of the conspiracy too, Brett. Why does everyone think I’m Jim Carey? I thought I put all that behind me, especially after The Cable Guy.
So do you think it’s possible that I don’t have it? Am I cured….or maybe just a hypochondriac?
Well….I suppose I could be suffering from seriousity.
Don’t tell anyone, but due to all my mid-research naps, I’ve had to upgrade to a waterproof keyboard.
And they’re not cheap.
Saran Wrap® is a cheap substitute for waterproofing your keyboard. And you can wrap sandwiches in it for later.
Great tip, Jami. Both practical and money saving.
You did leave her bread crumbs didn’t you? Or does she have her own GPS?
I’m taking a correspondence course from the University of Liverpool.
Not only do I get a degree, but a knighthood as well.
I get that all the time, except people this I’m Donna Summer.
Applied drollology with a comic emphasis is what it said on my certificate.
When it come to beautiful women, I pretty much stick with the Hot Comma Momma. And I can’t say that I’ve ever tried cow nipples either, I haven’t even tasted local Memphis delicacies like neck-bones, pigs feet, or chitlins.
I guess I live a sheltered existence.
It must have been one of those secret spy phrases and I bungled it. No wonder I found the secret service camped out in the back yard.
I knew you rise from your deck chair if with could only provide you with sufficient motivation. I will check out your entry soon.
Well judging by the look on your face in the pictures above, you look more like Ben Stiller in Zoolander “Blue Steel”!…..are you an ambi-turner?
I uh…really don’t think that matters, as long as you can squeeze three rights into your available area, it’s the same thing as a left.
Really.
I love it. Even better would be the Memphis version:
“I gots me the drolls”
And that Hooked on Phonics is really working for them.
I really didn’t know the actual meaning of the word until someone applied to me.(Accuracy debatable.) But seeing it also applied to Monty Python and Steven Wright made me feel fluffy all over.
My 5 year old is still asking when Brent is going to hike up his pants to his armpits and embarrass his children.
Oh, it’s been done…well done.
How can I argue with that?
Here I am now
concocting my vacation away…I mean searching diligently for Doctor Toboggans, all for the greater drollery of humanity.Thanks Keli.
I’m happy to do whatever I can to contribute to world entertainment.
Thanks.