Adventures of the Author

Little Known Ways to Get Your Spouse to Attend Your Anniversary*

Astute readers will note that precisely one year ago today I celebrated the Anniversary of my marriage to Camille, the Hot Comma Momma upon these shimmering pages.

As you may recall, the related festivities were made somewhat challenging not only by her lack of attendance at the actual event, but also by her complete absence from the country…

Post author By Brent
Post date July 8, 2008
60 Comments on Little Known Ways to Get Your Spouse to Attend Your Anniversary*

Astute readers will note that precisely one year ago today I celebrated the Anniversary of my marriage to Camille, the Hot Comma Momma upon these shimmering pages.

As you may recall, the related festivities were made somewhat challenging not only by her lack of attendance at the actual event, but also by her complete absence from the country.

Yes, while my errant spouse was going native in the steamy jungles of Costa Rica, the Comma Community held a monitor-light vigil in her honor, filling comment-box after comment-box with well wishes, congratulations, and self-pitying cries of loneliness.

Of course that last part came mostly from me, but unless you are an extortionist, armed felon, or possibly a senator, you can really only give what you have.

But as I vowed last year, things have changed. This year my beloved traveler is in country, in house, and if I do say so myself, fairly well in hand.

“What you are experiencing now is the Kung-Fu spinal grip. Between it and the forcefield, you won’t be going anywhere.”

Of course my squad of corporate ninjas is on full alert in case she attempts another getaway, but all in all I feel pretty confident that my bride and I shall make it through the evening in the charming company of each other.

Furthermore, let me add that- Wait. That sounded suspiciously like the front door.

I have to go now and kick in the emergency boost generator for the Toboggans Industries Electromagnetic Spouse Containment Field, but while I’m gone feel free to commiserate…congratulate the HCM on nineteen lucky years with Your Author.

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*Alright, for those of you who insist upon an actual list, here are the Little Known Ways: ninjas, tranquilizers, superglue, and linebackers blocking every exit.

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Listed on: humor-blogs.com | Alltop.com

Tags anniversary, Camille, humor, marriage

60 replies on “Little Known Ways to Get Your Spouse to Attend Your Anniversary*”

Being that yesterday was my first anniversary, I’m sure my method could use some refinement.

Drive her across the country to visit her parents, then leave to come home the day before your anniversary. Be cunning! Time your drive so that your arrival is actually in the wee hours of the morning of your actualversary, say, 3am. She’ll be much too tired to flee further than the living room couch.

Hard to get sandwiches, though.

I’m such a sucker for tales of endearment for one’s spouse or significant other.

That made me smile.
Ear to ear!

Happy Anniversary to both of you!

~ZZ

Congrats, you two!

YAY for HCM and you! And for Kung-Fu Grip.

Wow, 19 years, that is quite an accomplishment! Congrats to you both, and I’m glad this year you can celebrate it together, but isn’t it going to be kind of hard to make a toast while doing the Kung-Fu grip? ;)

I understand they’ve made great strides in tracking devices. You don’t even need to place them with air guns anymore unless you think a certain distance would be preferable during installation.

And Congratulations on 19 years of marital bliss. Unless I’m assuming too much.

By the way, I can’t vote for you over at humor-blogs.com anymore. Apparently I like you too much.

Happy Anniversary to you!

I was going to sing further, but my creativity flew out the window.

Congrats!

Your years of service and dedication to ~~Tobaggans Industries~~ each other is honorable and worthy of ~~termination~~ ~~a good head flushing~~ awards and celebration.