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Steam Cleaner Charged With Brainwashing

Chicago– Small business owner, Harold Smocking, was arrested today on charges of criminal brainwashing. His company, Esteem Cleaners, which provides an innovative combination of personal development and pressure washing, has up until now boasted an impressive track record of profitability and really clean sidewalks…

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Chicago– Small business owner, Harold Smocking, was arrested today on charges of criminal brainwashing. His company, Esteem Cleaners, which provides an innovative combination of personal development and pressure washing, has up until now boasted an impressive track record of profitability and really clean sidewalks.

Witnesses say that Smocking used the boredom and mind numbing noise of his pressure washer to lull victims into a hypnotic state, leaving them vulnerable to his suggestions, which focused mainly on large tips and irrational behavior. Clients’ personal development goals are alleged to have been overridden by Smocking in favor of more entertaining hypnotic suggestions, like profuse public flatulence and singing “I’m a Little Teapot Short and Stout” in crowded bus stations. Smocking is being held without bail with trial set for this sometime this decade.

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This report brought to you by:

The law offices of Avarice and DeCeit,
“Specializing in minor injuries and major settlements, at Avarice and DeCeit you’re not just a number, you’re a number with a lot of zeros behind it.”

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61 replies on “Steam Cleaner Charged With Brainwashing”

Good family traditions are precious. When ever my in laws would come over for thanksgiving, we would always watch Funny Farm or What About Bob.

Bill Murray puts the give in thanksgiving.

Bill Murray and Chevy Chase have that uncanny ability to make us laugh without saying a word. Their facial idiosyncrasies defy explanation. They have that kind of comfortable strangeness. Oh how this takes me back a bit…good times…

Brent,
That was a horrible thing to suggest for Debbie. You know she hates jell-o. That was a comment worthy of Dr.T. It would probably backfire on you though. It would end up like death therapy did for Dr. Marvin.

Sorry Debbie,
I will tell Camille on him.

Maisie is adorable, thank you Debbie and Brent. I look forward to her singing “I’m a little teapot” and acting it out.

I am quite intrigued to hear the askaninja.com ninja talk about the ominous comma! links anyone??

I have recented heard about Brent’s despicable behavior, and trust me he has been punished.

Lynn,
Let me know if I can be of further assistance.

Okay, I have been going to your new little webmap thingy for days now wondering when you were going to post. I just found the this way to blog button—I need help.

Just click on “view the posts” on the right side of the main screen, and it will take you directly to the most recent posts.

Sorry for the confusion, is was actually supposed to work the other way: to make things easier to find.

Perhaps I should consider a career in reverse engineering.

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