I want to apologize to all of my readers. To those currently engrossed in this article, to those yet to discover this blog, and even to those whose best attempts at reading so far have been limited to glassy stares in the direction of diaper packaging.
I have let you all down.
Approximately one year ago I informed you that I had discovered the secret of the U.S. economy…
Approximately one year ago I informed you that I had discovered the secret of the U.S. economy. I assured you that it was a relatively uncomplicated matter and, due to its simplicity and security, that you needn’t worry yourselves too much about it.
More specifically, I revealed to the members of the Comma-reading public that despite its complex appearance, the national financial system was in fact controlled entirely by a small fan.
Well, now the economy is suffering and I feel responsible.
Yes, it seems that our own Doctor Harold Toboggans1 who has several patients within the upper echelons of the federal fiduciary community, used his undue influence to borrow the Fan of State for his own nefarious purposes and in doing so, broke it.
It must be realized that the Economy Fan is a delicate instrument, designed for the rarified air of upper level economic circles; it was never intended to handle the extreme pressures of ego inflation, especially those of an obesely overblown ego like that possessed by Dr. Toboggans.
Being the individual responsible for introducing the doctor’s analytical arrogance to the world, I must assume some blame for this tragic turn of events.2
And so in an effort to help mitigate this whole unpleasant mess, I am launching an invigorating multi-part series dedicated to the prospect of worldwide economic betterment.
Watch this space for the next adrenalizing installment of this series, Buck-O-Quest, coming urgently soon.
(Or not, it’s up to you.)
Suspense over. Here’s the entire Buck-O-Quest series for your perusal.
Part 1- Taking Economic Recovery For A Spin
Part 2- Putting The Economy In Motion
Part 3 – Shoring Up Liquid Assets
Part 4 – The Buck Stops at Last
Bonus – What The Promised Recession Means To You
Bonus 2 – Stimulus Package Video
This post can be found stimulating circulation over at humor-blogs.com
- The phrase “our own Doctor Toboggans” in this context does not denote pride or ownership but merely an unpleasant and unavoidable association, such as found between men and woman, men and remotes, and Mississippi and deep fried Twinkies. ↩
- No legal liability is admitted or implied by this statement, please adhere to all applicable lawyer restraint codes and frivolous litigation restrictions. Please keep your attorney on a leash unless posted. ↩