Webster’s To Reclassify ‘Nuclear’ As Two Syllable Word

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Cleveland- Dictionary publisher Webster’s Inc. today announced that it will reclassify ‘nuclear’ as a two syllable word. Company owner, John Q. Webster, great grandson of original dictionary author Nathaniel Webster, said that the move was “natural and logical, in keeping with popular usage, and in no way connected with the large number of armed men occupying our office.”

When asked about extensive homeland security investigations and warrantless wiretaps aimed at the company in recent months, White House officials said that although they could not give specifics, they were following definite connections with al-Quaeda, Weight Watchers and other terrorist organizations and that any intimidating effects felt by Webster’s were purely coincidental.

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