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I’m A Trekkie Again

Back in the deep dark days of my childhood, before satellite, cable, or DVDs, back when even the VCR was just a gleam in some engineer’s eye, to be a science fiction fan was to be a Star Trek fan.

And for good reason.

The original Star Trek was a thing of beauty, so loaded with adventure, romance, and courage under fire, that young viewers never realized it was really an exercise in philosophy, exploring the violence, racism, and social conflict of its times.

But as deep and exciting as its storytelling often was, I think the real strength of the series was in what it didn’t tell. Unlike its successors, classic Trek usually resisted the temptation to over-explain.

Kirk and the Big Guns

As a viewer, you were always left wanting more. Wondering how transporters really worked, what powered an android, and what all those other little buttons on the console went to.

Unfortunately, starting with The Next Generation, the Star Trek franchise started shedding the adventure and wonder of its heritage and began a relentless journey deeper and deeper into its own head.

Where mystery once flirted, exposition now abounded. Every action got saddled with what seemed like hours of pseudo-scientific technobabble, to the point where roughly 25% of all available screen time got dedicated to the theoretical science behind any current crisis.

You couldn’t get fifteen minutes into an episode or feature film without one of Star Fleet’s finest saying something like,

“Maybe if we triggered a graviton pulse inversion with a double pike and served it with a side order of chronoton fluxuation in the aft sensor array, we could eventually find some action or at least return to speaking English sometime before the credits roll.”

Which brings me to my point.

Despite my earlier doubts and suspicions to the contrary, the new Star Trek movie officially rocks.

The action is back, the passion is back, and the wonder is at full strength.

2008_star_trek_008

This film takes the characters that we’ve loved for years, pays proper respect to their origins and motivations, and then breaks them free of the accumulated baggage and “fate” (i.e the accepted storylines of the Star Trek cannon) launching them into new and uncharted adventures.

This film has left me seriously stoked.

Final rating: Two thumbs on phasers set to “amaze.”

The last film Brent mentioned in these pages did not do so well. Check out this fair and balanced review of the most hideous waste of film ever spawned: Dragon Wars.

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Commentary

Love Letters To A Manly Chunk Of Masculine Authorship

People sometimes ask me how long it takes to write these posts, and I always give the same truthful answer:

Too long.

I really don’t want to boast for more than a couple hundred words or so, but the work of a serious humorist is not easy, it requires persistence, dedication, and obscene quantities of coffee.

And once you make it out of bed, it gets even more challenging.

Anyway, all this laborious authorship tends to take a while, which sometimes tests the patience of my family. Especially since I can be difficult to contact while I am in my writing-trance. In fact, as I consult my pillowed dictionary, and practice my ritual snores, I am often mistaken for being asleep. Which of course is not the case, I am just concentrating.

Very, very deeply.

And frequently, as I return to a more mundane state of consciousness, I will find a communiqué from the lovely and ever gracious Hot Comma Momma, delicately reminding me of my household responsibilities.

Here is a collection of recent correspondence from Her Loyal Hotness:

Honey,
It sounds like that sasquatch got back into the basement again. The kids probably left the window open. Can you take care of it? I left the cattle prod and pepper spray on the kitchen table for you.

Love Always
-HCM

,,,,,

Honey,
Could you pick up your alien artifacts out of the living room? The girls are coming over tonight to watch some movies. You remember how upset you got last time when Debbie put the onion dip in the trans-dimensional electro-ponder.

Love
-HCM

,,,,,

Honey,
The auto-cloner is acting up again. It’s putting out a puppy every hour and I’m running out of newspaper. Please see what you can do.

Lots of Love
-HCM

,,,,,

Honey,
The kids have been telling people that you died in an oil fire again. Perhaps you’re working too hard. Please talk to them. In person this time, no holograms. Remember, these are the days that we will always cherish. Good luck honey.

Love
-HCM

The Sad Family Barely Holding Themsleves Together ~ the Ominous Comma

“We have to be strong. Daddy wouldn’t want us to disgrace his memory by getting all blubbery.”

Honey,
There’s some government-looking men parked in a van outside the house. They’ve been out there all week so today I took them some sandwiches. They’re the nicest surveillance team yet.

So, is there anything you want to tell me?

Waiting Patently
-HCM

You’ll have to excuse me, all this writing has worn me out. I have to go concentrate again.

—–

This post is dosing off over at humor-blogs.com